Intimacy: Bored - FML

Bored

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 11:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 7 274

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Same thing different taste

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 463

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 260

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 814

You deserved it 7 621

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 183

You deserved it 4 857

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 837

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Spicy

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 912

You deserved it 10 079

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 574

You deserved it 15 533

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 211

You deserved it 29 843

Barf

By Danielle - 25/10/2020 11:02

Spicy

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 190

Next

Top comments

tinker9107 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:20

Was it that boring ?

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:39

Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"

Comments

43trauts 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:26

There's an endless array of sexual jokes that can be made here.

43trauts 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:28

Sausage tacos covered in bacon and gravy?

silentbutfunny 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:30

Fish?

jose1760 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:31

Oh... I think I'll make tuna for Ohhhh!

ICATiger 13

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:32

Dinner turn you on don't they.

maryam8869 7

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:32

Must have been a tasty sex

cysanleigh 13

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:33

Well, at least your not counting the bumps of spackling on your ceiling. You can at least say it was some what productive. We all want a good dinner right?

MikeDa1Da 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 21:20

You're*

Torch15 9

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:33

fish Dakotas anyone?

Torch15 9

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:35

fajitas* damn autocorrect

manatees_r_epic 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 21:47

Fish Dakotas are delicious.

sourspraykay 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:33

Jenna Marbles?

hotPinklipstick 24

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:58

I was thinking the same thing! Lol

MikeMikeTheAzn 3

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:34

Rice with soy bean and soy sauce. add in meat with fish and noodles. last but not least, invite an Asian.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

The Top

Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 065

You deserved it 5 125

Today, I was out to lunch when someone in the distance proposed to his partner. She said yes, everyone clapped and cheered. I, on the other hand, burst into tears and couldn't stop bawling for about half an hour. I'm a 32 year-old man and didn't even know the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 477

Today, while at my family reunion, I learned my grandparents were first cousins. No wonder we're all crazy hillbillies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 162

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 4 038

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable, which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 246

You deserved it 3 478

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 660

You deserved it 2 629