Intimacy: Bored

Bored

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 11:44 - Australia

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 408

You deserved it 7 272

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 461

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 5 001

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 806

You deserved it 7 619

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 181

You deserved it 4 856

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 834

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 906

You deserved it 10 079

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 572

You deserved it 15 531

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 211

You deserved it 29 838

Barf

By Danielle - 25/10/2020 11:02

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 189

tinker9107 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:20

Was it that boring ?

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:39

Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"

Comments

chellyX92 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:11

I guess the same rule for food shopping applies during sex. Don't do it hungry.

ImSoEffedUp 10

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:13

Maybe instead of worrying about what to cook....YOU should have been getting EATEN.... I'm just saying.....

BrysGirl27 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:15

Wow FYL :p

DQEight 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:19

Why? Just finish and have her make you a sammich

nowais 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:22

Sausage for dinner ?

Skylar246 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:25

That sounds nice. ;)

jaakerzz 6

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:33

What a good woman.

Pelreskovich 11

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:39

You must have thought it was yummy.. Or delicious if you will.

akito11 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:41

Uhm, four play/role play, try having masochistic/sadist roles... It makes things more interesting

kalbrek009 20

Thursday 26 January 2012 20:12

Foreplay, as in before...lol...not four play which is 4 times played.....heh heh. :)

TPSerigne 9

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:44

10-seriously doubt it.

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The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 294

You deserved it 2 147

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 2 695

The Top

Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 137

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was there, I started to get really itchy. Turns out they have 5 cats. Guess what I'm allergic to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 111

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 223

You deserved it 3 206

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 2 928

Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 206

Today, I just turned 40 and have gone teetotal, had no birthday party due to having burned all my bridges with friends and the community in my 20s, and now me and my cat are both scratching non-stop because my apartment seems to have an infestation of dust mites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 886