Sex, Boredom and Love: Boredom - FML

Boredom

By alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 803

You deserved it 52 063

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Same thing different taste

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 893

You deserved it 1 162

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 757

You deserved it 2 891

By thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 461

You deserved it 3 194

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 418

You deserved it 31 993

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 766

You deserved it 3 624

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 831

You deserved it 13 049

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 791

You deserved it 5 679

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 3 385

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

Next

Top comments

csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

Comments

peterblack67 9

Monday 8 March 2021 17:19

That's your first clue you're not doing it right.

wrenavery90 12

Saturday 30 July 2022 2:11

I don't want to sound mean but if she was texting then you're not doing it right.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 507

You deserved it 320

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 2 897

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 423

You deserved it 4 629

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 3 679

Today, it's been one week since spicing things up with mine and my husband's sex life by involving whipped cream. We can now smell of out of date diary, no matter what soap products we use showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 789

Today, the court is unable to allow me to divorce my wife because she is pregnant with our child. I have to wait until AFTER the baby is born, so that she is born inside of a marriage and not be an "illegitimate child". I was planning to move out of our house to go live with my high school sweetheart this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 2 952