In my opinion, even if it does make you uncomfortable, either go straight to HR or send them an email with the boss CCd. The entire office does not need to know what happened and it seems like an attempt to humiliate OP more than anything else. Even if it was a repeat issue.

Not only do you have a tenuous grasp on what is legal and illegal, you're claiming that no one has the right to comment on someone's appearance whilst walking in a public place. Last time I checked the only thing free speech didn't include were death threats and screaming fire and bomb at inappropriate times. If you want to live in a world where speech filters are enforced then you should probably filter out the dumb hateful shit from your own mouth first. Seriously, creating a paper trail and immaculately humiliating one person just because the woman wants to feel like she's got some sort of point to prove to her coworkers? That's disgraceful and whether or not its warranted doesn't mean it's not the most childish thing she could've done. I'm guessing that because you agree with her you're just as big of an attention seeking man hating **** as she is.

While I think complimenting anyone about anything can be a slippery slope, you think this is really the same as following someone around in the street catcalling them? Shit like this is why people can't feel comfortable being nice to others.

HOW IS TELLING SOMEONE THAT THEY LOOK NICE OFFENSIVE? AND WHY ARE WE SHOUTING? No, but srsly, please explain. Why would you read so much into a simple compliment? I understand you might not give a shit about whether people think you look nice or not. In this case, just think nothing of it. If you the compliment sweet, say thank you. Why in the world would you be offended by this? Don't kill the person just because they wanted to brighten up your day (again, I understand that you may not give a **** about what other people think about you, but this person genuinely meant well by paying you a compliment so why be a rude ************ in return?) Sometimes I really wonder what kind of a selfish-bastard-spoiled-brat-**** world we live in when people get offended over shit like this. Let's imagine a reversed situation. You notice your coworker has just come in and, for whatever reason, you really like his sweater. You decide to share this bit of information with him because you think it will make him feel good. Instead, he goes batshit and starts accusing you of god knows what, but you know you didn't mean him any harm. How does that make you feel? Look, I've been sexually harassed. I know what it looks like and I know what it feels like and calling someone "cute" is NOT it. Seriously #67, do you go through life shaking with fear that someone will hurt you? Because that is certainly not a nice mindset to live in and I think you might need to seek some medical attention for that kind of paranoia.

Okay, let me explain the First Amendment: Freedom of Speech says that your GOVERNMENT cannot jail or otherwise punish you for expressing, with a few exceptions, an OPINION. It does NOT apply to the workplace. Your job has an absolute right to tell you how you can and cannot speak to your coworkers/boss/etc. It's the same reason I was able to press harassment charges against the man who kept following me up and down the campus telling me that I "look hot" and he "bet [my] pussy smelled delicious." No, he was no protected by "freedom of speech," and neither are you from sanctions by HR when you comment unnecessarily on a coworker's appearance. Which YES, falls under the VAST majority of HR sexual harassment no-nos. How do I know? I'm 32 and work in a professional environment, rather than being a pathetic little child with no firsthand experience mouthing off about things I have zero understanding of.

Yep, absolutely. You're the only person over 12 on this site. Thank you for speaking up! You're so brave! While I agree that there's limits to what can and should be said to co-workers when you're not close enough with them to know if they're comfortable with compliments/faux insults, whatever, if it went down exactly as OP stated, she also over-reacted. Would she have been right if she felt uncomfortable to tell him so? Yes. Would she have been right to go to HR if she felt uncomfortable and felt uncomfortable confronting him directly? Yes. What she did was drag something that was (most likely) innocent out in front of an entire office, and that could be five people or six hundred people that now thing OP is a creeper, or that SHE is an over-reacting harpy. It was badly handled.

Your post I was commenting about did include the fact that you think calling the police on someone cat calling you in the street is warranted. And now you're going on a rant about how I don't understand because it's illegal to harass people in an office setting. News flash. It's still not illegal for you to "harass" someone in an office setting. No one can call the cops in because someone says you have a nice ass. Will you and should you get fired? Depending on the situation hell yeah. But don't you dare try to infect people with lies about how calling in police officers to combat any form of speech except threats is warranted. Police and your HR department aren't the same thing and you shouldn't mix legalities with things you "shouldn't" do. At best you can get a restraining order against someone however if they already share common ground with you then you're ****** anyway because you can't make someone unable to complete their normal routine with that. It sounds like what you're getting at is that the HR department has the right to fire you and yes by all means you're right assuming there's enough evidence. Instead of pointing out irrelevant details about who you think I might be or making large empty assumptions about how much experience I have I suggest you learn more about the legal system and the constitution since you're misusing and misquoting it in such a large public forum. Can you be fired? Sure. Can you EVER be arrested or sued for words alone that aren't threatening? Not even in the slightest.

A woman says something you disagree with and instead of replying in a coherent, respectful manner, you end up resorting to degrading name-calling. Do you not see a problem?

I see no problem at all. I see no problems with anyone expressing themselves without fear of any sort of retaliation or judgment. There is nothing wrong with saying whatever the **** your want to say to somebody short of putting them in a threatening situation. Especially when they're a big titted man hating ****.

FOLLOWING a STRANGER and telling them they look HOT is completely different than telling a CO-WORKER that they look CUTE in PASSING. I agree that a woman has every right to feel uncomfortable when complimented. While 'cute' is a pretty unsexual, non threatening compliment, that doesn't mean she's not allowed to take offense to it. Different people have different comfort levels. We don't know what the history is for her or between them, so we can't really judge if she's overreacting. What I disagree with is sharing that with the entire office. If someone makes a comment that you don't like, brush it off. If you're legitimately uncomfortable, report it to HR or your boss or speak to the person directly. If it continues, or isn't handled properly, go higher. But even if OP was someone who had been hitting on her for a while, I don't think that 'you look cute today' would really be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Plus, if she had taken the appropriate steps and this behavior was continuing, sending and email to the entire office likely wouldn't help her. Anyone who was friends with OP, likely the management who didn't act on her complaints, would then dislike her. She started a he-said, she-said war that isn't going to end well for anyone. I certainly don't think it was appropriate to share it with the entire office. On top of the drama, regardless of what he's done, that's humiliating for him and likely makes HIM uncomfortable. And he shouldn't have to feel like that in the workplace. Oh, and I've taken sexual harassment courses, self defense, and have been sexually harassed in the work place and outside of it as well as having been sexually assaulted. Does me being only twenty invalidate my experiences or my opinion on the topic?

Hey Audilover. You can say whatever you want and express yourself however you choose to. But not at every workplace. And sure the cops will not be called to a workplace for any comments whether they are perceived as innocent or rude. But it can be reported and handled by Human Resources. I can only assume that you work at a strip club if you believe it is okay to tell a woman she has a nice ass or comment on her body. As for being in the street. Sure, you're not on the clock and free to say whatever you feel like saying but if a woman feels that you are harassing her, maybe even following her in your vehicle, she has every right to feel threatened. Not all women like to be cat called when out in the street. Some might smile and make nothing of it, some might feel offended and unsafe. But in the street there is no Human Resources. Now you would be dealing with cops if they are to be called. And your tone might not be the same as it is here online. No offense, just sounds like you are confused about how one can conduct themselves in the workplace. I don't believe you can go to any workplace and tell a woman whatever you want. There are rules of conduct that must be followed by men and women.

Although the co-worker obviously overeacted and should not have cc'd the entire office, she was allowed to react negatively to the comment. I sincerely do not think you become a "rude ************" and a "selfish-bastard-spoiled-brat-****" just because as you do not want to hear comments on the way you dress or look at work. Seriously. I would not call what OP said sexual harrassment, but his comment was inappropriate for the workplace. There is a time and place for nice comments on a pretty dress or a nice new haircut, but it's not work. How hard is it to keep your personnal comment on your colleagues' appearence to yourself? You can say a million things to brighten someone's day about how great they work, how relevant their input is. Women are told now that they just don't know how to take a compliment. Well, if there is one place we do NOT have to take it and shut up about how unconfortable we are, it's work.

No. NO. YOU do not get to dehumanize a random woman by calling her a "little girl" because she didn't want a man commenting on her appearance. You do not have a natural right to comment on our forms, clothing, or appearance. You do not have a natural right to comment on our forms, clothing, or appearance. YOU DO NOT HAVE A NATURAL RIGHT TO COMMENT ON OUR FORMS, CLOTHING, OR APPEARANCE!!!! WHAT THE **** DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?!?!? THIS IS PATRIARCHY. THIS IS RAPE CULTURE. WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT HOW ABHORRENT YOUR ATTITUDES ARE?!?!??! - A SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVOR

>Harps on about "You do not have a natural right to comment on our forms, clothing, or appearance." >Makes sure to include picture of breasts on their profile. Notice how I am not commenting on how your body/clothing/appearance looks at all. I am commenting on how your attitude looks. It looks like you are baiting a trap, it looks like you are searching for any excuse to argue. And if the OP's comment was as innocent as how it seemed to be to me, it looks like you are the sort of person who would overreact and CC the entire department about it as well, instead of following proper channels.

#82 you must be really fun at parties

#82, You're cute! Now I'm gonna just sit back and watch you spontaneously combust.

82, you're the reason people scoff at feminists. REAL feminists. He called her cute. Who freaking cares? You're trying to make it sound like he was stalking her and trying to make her uncomfortable. Guess what, sweetheart, I don't think he was. I think it was an innocent comment taken the wrong way because people are so freaking sensitive. This poor guy doesn't deserve the crap you're throwing his way. I don't think he called her cute because she has a ******. I think he would have told a male coworker that he looks good (because cute, male to make, is kinda weird, for some reason) because OP seems like a nice guy that went out of his way to try to make a coworker feel good about themselves. I think your whole argument is stupid and rather entertaining, actually. I hope you read this and want to rip me apart and call me all sorts of funny names, but before you do, know I work in an almost all male environment and am also a FEMALE going into mechanical and aerospace engineering, another mostly male field. I get called cute all the time and I really appreciate when called so because I work hard to look nice and it's good to know that work paid off!

It's wrong because it made her uncomfortable. Most people don't get upset over a single comment, so assuming that she's not crazy, she's probably been tolerating compliments and flirting from him for a while. It's one thing to flirt with a coworker if it's mutual, and it's another to develop a personal relationship and then begin to flirt, but repeatedly flirting with a coworker without being positive it's well received is completely inappropriate.

I didn't say a word about this situation in specific. I saw a comment or two essentially saying that OP 'YDI'd because they were flirting in the workplace. I said that it's annoying when people act like you shouldn't flirt with co-workers, even if you are being polite about it. Which obviously, if the feeling isn't mutual, then it is harassment and is no longer polite.