Health, Poopoo peepee and Gross: Broom time

Broom time

By juel - 20/02/2022 04:00

Today, after a particularly nasty bout of diarrhea, I somehow managed to get poop on the ceiling. I still don’t know how it ended up there, and I’m too short to reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 176

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Same thing different taste

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 965

You deserved it 270

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 214

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 257

You deserved it 4 967

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 092

You deserved it 446

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 881

You deserved it 5 982

Tiler, the creator

By musicalxtheories - 09/05/2020 08:00

Today, my cat pooped in the shower. How did I find out? I didn't see the poop when I got in. I slipped in it, and smacked my head on the tile wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 279

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 024

You deserved it 2 792

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 516

You deserved it 1 378

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 773

You deserved it 6 757

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 20 February 2022 4:06

My guess is that it hit the fan. Hire a hazmat team to clean up the mess. If you try using some contraption, you'll probably get shit-faced.

Marcella1016 31

Sunday 20 February 2022 4:02

Broom handle with a rag on it maybe? Get creative. And for God’s sakes eat more fiber lol

Comments

Marcella1016 31

Sunday 20 February 2022 4:02

Broom handle with a rag on it maybe? Get creative. And for God’s sakes eat more fiber lol

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 20 February 2022 4:06

My guess is that it hit the fan. Hire a hazmat team to clean up the mess. If you try using some contraption, you'll probably get shit-faced.

Marcella1016 31

Sunday 20 February 2022 17:13

Nah, OP needs to go all in with a Rube Goldberg machine. Depending on its complexity and his mechanical prowess, worst case scenario he’ll end up with egg on his face.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 20 February 2022 17:23

It's a lot harder to build a good Rube Goldberg machine these days. You can't find midgets to be part of a contraption, and PETA will be all up your ass if you use animals in the process!