Health: Candy Andy - FML

Candy Andy

By bad karma - 21/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 46 239

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Same thing different taste

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 705

You deserved it 13 879

By BrokeAndHungry - 24/07/2016 17:05 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 141

You deserved it 4 339

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 475

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 475

You deserved it 5 290

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 365

You deserved it 1 528

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 816

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 325

By ilovekids? - 12/12/2015 02:05 - United States - Commack

Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 116

You deserved it 6 009

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 161

You deserved it 3 066

Next

Top comments

TipOfTheHat 10

Monday 21 November 2011 18:50

It's an expression! Your not actually supposed to do that!

xxcreativedreame 5

Monday 21 November 2011 18:51

Wow. It takes a REAL loser to do that. Seriously.

Comments

Savra_fml 17

Monday 21 November 2011 19:10

Hope you choked on it OP!!! 'tard!

AlaskaKid95 7

Monday 21 November 2011 19:21

That's pathetic.

EnEl_Infierno 15

Monday 21 November 2011 19:21

If you really were that hungry, you should have just gone to a Rescue Mission, Church, or Soup Kitchen. Or you just could punch a cop and go to jail and get your 3 square meals a day. But to steal from a baby that's just sad and pathetic.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Monday 21 November 2011 20:32

This is true. At least with those options you get at least somewhat real food. Candy isn't going to hold you over more than 10 minutes.

coltsrock37 15

Monday 21 November 2011 19:22

I stole candy for Quality Candy as a kid, man that manager gave me the death stare. My dad bitched her out though. Good times.

Coolaidegirl 18

Monday 19 August 2013 8:32

haha my sis ate a 5 cent candy off the ground (we wete like 5) and my parent made her go back in and apologise in front of the whole store

perdix 29

Monday 21 November 2011 19:23

That used to be really bad, but now we are more concerned about adults who give candy to babies and young boys.

EmeraldEyedGirl 7

Monday 21 November 2011 19:23

You honestly are a terrible person and I am amazed you actually have the guts to write something like this and then expect someone to feel sorry for you.

flake97 4

Tuesday 22 November 2011 5:14

The fml is about how he stole it and felt bad he isn't looking for people to agree with him you ass hat

autumnleighf 0

Monday 21 November 2011 19:37

fatty mcfattson

ScarletBloom 14

Monday 21 November 2011 19:37

F the baby's life.

OFFICERxNASTYxx 0

Monday 21 November 2011 19:40

Whats wrong? Its just Survival of the fittest! It's a doggy dog world out there you know!!... .... Jk you're an asshole op

perdix 29

Monday 21 November 2011 19:49

It's not "doggy dog," it's "dog eat dog." More brutal, huh? I was much older than you when I got straightened out on this saying.

lovelylaurie021 3

Monday 21 November 2011 19:42

Being a mother I would have kicked ur ass

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I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 113

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I agree, your life sucks 23 569

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I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 183

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I agree, your life sucks 3 297

You deserved it 223

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I agree, your life sucks 36 370

You deserved it 6 114

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I agree, your life sucks 19 840

You deserved it 52 760

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I agree, your life sucks 33 352

You deserved it 3 709

Today, my dad told me that I'm nothing but a burden because I can't work, and disability is worth nothing. It's not my fault I ended up in an abusive foster home that left me with spinal cord damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 273