Love: Catchy turn of phrase

Catchy turn of phrase

By boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 363

You deserved it 61 118

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Same thing different taste

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 1 291

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 143

By Teddy Bear - 12/01/2019 16:00

Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 573

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 108

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 19:00 - Ireland - Navan

Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 240

You deserved it 1 155

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 755

You deserved it 30 577

Honesty

By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 474

You deserved it 35 417

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 434

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 796

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 611

You deserved it 3 316

CLINTRONxD 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious

ohmygawdz 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:07

I bet you do, you little boinger you.

Comments

The_Master 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:14

yeah, i can see how that can be taken in a totally negative way...wtg on the wording. YDI for sure, for being a kid-toucher...

wholegrain 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:14

I bet that sounded pretty odd

takran 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:18

Why don't you have a seat right over there...

cruzersgirl2213 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 21:04

"Have a seat, right over there." OMG. I laughed so hard at this. You're a f*ing genious!

_krystallynn_ 11

Monday 31 December 2012 8:25

i dont get it.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Monday 27 July 2015 17:05

@292- To catch a predator with Chris Hansen. That's what he says to the pedophiles that show up to have sex with a 13-year-old

rockinbalr14 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:21

You owned yourself.xD

bluegab123 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:21

Hahaha

xmcr4lifex 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:24

:P that's ok people always say stupid thingsXD

bishoprsv2 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:25

Aw come on! Who moderated this crap. Worst FML ever!!

littlemisslee 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:25

You have a condition known as verbal dyslexia. when you try to say what's in your head, but word it wrong. That, or you don't think before you speak.

twinscrplayer6 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 4:16

or it was just a Frudian slip or w/e. just because he accidently said something doesn't meen she automatically has some sort of condition so stfu.

pointedancer96 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:26

CREEPER?!?!?! :(

TasteMyInk 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:26

Haahah oh man. That's priceless!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 363

You deserved it 5 630

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 060

You deserved it 1 845

The Top

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 643

You deserved it 6 638

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 881

You deserved it 2 771

Today, I found out firsthand how a civilised conversation about renewable energy can turn into a long debate about whether or not you can have sex with an oil drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 346

You deserved it 666

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 784

You deserved it 21 156

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 492

You deserved it 6 463

Today, I'm at my grandparents' house to help clear snow. I was making a path to the driveway by pushing the snow out of the way. I saw a big pile and went to kick it really hard. Alas, it was a step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 447

You deserved it 3 170

Catchy turn of phrase

Same thing different taste

No

Honesty

She definitely heard

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