Animals, Cats and Health: Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 177

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Same thing different taste

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 4 982

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 483

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 288

You deserved it 2 717

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 388

You deserved it 1 845

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 859

You deserved it 4 565

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

Comments

youthink_fml 0

Friday 4 September 2009 13:56

you're an ass 1. what did you think was going to happen 2. no way the needle was 8" 3. you don't get a blood infection (or any infection) that quickly.

xHaniffax 0

Friday 4 September 2009 14:40

You were in the shower....with your cat....naked. What a weird fetish. ********** is not the answer. but really, YDI for TRYING TO WASH YOUR CAT. Just let the damn thing lick itself....but FYL but getting a blood infection and it's not a big deal if the needle is 8", gosh grow up.

morgan_5230 0

Friday 4 September 2009 15:08

This is why I hate cats. I would have punted it across the house. Yesss, I understand they hate water, but the way they flip out is super annoying. This is why I have a dog.

Kronic_Kitten 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 5:10

Dogs freak out too when they are threatened and their reaction is to bite, hang on and shake the shit out of whatever they latched onto and can cause way more damage that a "freaking out cat" can. I mean have you ever heard of a cat attacking someone and leaving permenant deformities like dogs have? When a dog bites someone ususally they get put down.....have you ever heard of a cat being put down because they attacked someone? I haven't.

sketched_lilly 0

Friday 4 September 2009 15:26

For anyone confused why someone would bathe a cat in the first place: It's common for some housecats to not clean themselves properly and they can get smelly and sometimes even matted hair. This gentleman has learned the lesson to not surprise his cat by suddenly introducing it to a loud, hot, intimidating shower. Perhaps next time he'll take a more careful approach. Cat scratch fever can get pretty nasty and those antibiotics are going to make him sick for awhile.

vdubz 0

Friday 4 September 2009 16:06

sounds fake, but maybe you're actually that stupid, in which case YDI. And YDI again for saying proceeded. everyone hear writes the same way...

Rhbk898 0

Friday 4 September 2009 17:37

#180 vdubz. If you're going to mock people on the way they decide to word a sentence, at least get your grammar right please, you ******* idiot.

BlackScorpionAng 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 1:01

I love that when that happens. When an asshole points out how stupid someone else is because they misspelled a word or used bad grammar and they do this using misspelled words and bad grammar themselves.