Animals, Cats and Health: Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 172

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 4 982

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 15 361

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 116

You deserved it 2 483

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 2 716

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 259

You deserved it 4 197

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 387

You deserved it 1 845

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 857

You deserved it 4 565

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

Comments

9k5 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:20

Give me a good reason for trying to wash your cat and I won't put YDI.

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:21

I can only think of flea baths. But even then...

luvs2splooge42 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:23

i wonder if it ever crossed your mind that cats don't like water... and that they clean themselves so you don't need to bathe them (unless they have fleas of course)

doubleAbattery 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:24

You're an idiot.

ChocolatexGames 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:27

Wow. honestly to take a shower with your cat.... naked. what more can i say?!

robscorgie 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:26

I can guarantee you that not a single employee at that hospital believed the 'i was trying to wash the cat' story. Infact I don't really believe it...

stephph 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:28

manparts

TheTruth1428 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:31

I call fake. There's no way anyone is that stupid.

screwloose 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:37

Yeah, this is obviously fake. So obviously, it shouldn't have made it through moderation.

slave_to_misery 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:32

That's not the wet p*ssy that your friends are talking about...

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:41

The wet pussy your friends talk about is usually a lot more open to new things.

becki_fml 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:33

Pretty sure they don't make 8 inch long OR wide needles. Please correct me if I'm wrong. Poor cat hahaha

save_me_08 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:41

i think the OP meant the convenience of taking a shower and washing the cat at the same time...sorta killing two birds with one stone. And if he did the whole pet show thing i don't think he would shower naked w/ the cat...although...maybe he would