Animals, Cats and Health: Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 177

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 4 982

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 483

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 288

You deserved it 2 717

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 388

You deserved it 1 845

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 858

You deserved it 4 565

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

Comments

Man_person 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:23

What were you thinking? If you were trying to be funny your not, and if you actually wanted to wash your cat (no point in doing anyway) then you shouldn't have been in the shower WITH your cat. YDI.

STN_fml 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:25

Moral of story: Cats are evil x_x

Kenpachi_fml 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:26

Raping a cat in the shower dont mix well...^_^

21icefox 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:35

ur a dsumbas

phanotomsea 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:35

instead of taking off your clothes.. next time its more convenient to add more.. In the middle of summer I will add winter sweaters on and gloves because that is how pissed off our cats will be

phanotomsea 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:36

yes you have to wash your cat if your mother is allergic to the dandruff and you wash any other pet that you might have for over a year.... its like you washing yourself. you need to do it.. unless you dont...

MrCanoe 5

Friday 4 September 2009 2:49

This has to be fake, no one would be ******* stupid enough to try and wash there cat while naked. If it's true then you've got to be the stupidest ************ in history

bookworm124 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:53

How the hell do you think washing your cat NAKED is a good idea? Washing your cat with layers of protective equiptment, welder's gloves, and a hockey mask isn't even a good idea? YDI Darwin Awards contender, right here.

victory25 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:54

The mouth and nails of a cat have more bacteria and germs in it than any other animal. I have heard people of people dying from a cat bite on the finger. you are lucky to be alive my man. don't do that again!!!