Love, Covid and Coronavirus: Caught the bug

Caught the bug

By STFU! - 03/04/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend has been randomly screaming out, “Coronavirus! Hehehe!” in a scarily accurate Cardi B impression. She’s been doing it for days and refuses to stop. I’m starting to think facing the damn virus might be less annoying at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 229

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Love in the time of Covid

By moving out now - 27/09/2023 14:00

Today, my germophobic girlfriend has tested positive for Covid, and is utterly convinced she's going to die. She's been crying in the bed for the last five hours, talking about how much she regrets her choices, and how she never should have spent her last year with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 119

Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 257

Subtle threat

By afraid - 26/09/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend has been playing SZA’s "Kill Bill" on repeat all day. I’m starting to get genuinely scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 105

Tinfoil hat wearers are everywhere

By Anonymous - 09/05/2020 20:00

Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 267

Love in the time of coronavirus

By Darkparcero33 - 28/02/2021 08:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 156

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 506

You deserved it 5 484

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 23:58 - Antigua and Barbuda - Saint John's

Today, I woke up with a fever, headache and sore throat. All the symptoms of Covid-19. I told my husband, whose responded with, "Sack up and get over yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 201

The customer is always an ass

By zanaruka - 19/05/2020 05:00

Today, an angry customer rubbed her hand all over my face, all while showing me her positive COVID-19 test results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 168

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 378

Stuck together

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 02:02 - United States - Wynnewood

Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 1 132

RichardPencil 30

Friday 3 April 2020 19:41

You might want to social distance from her until this disease passes. By this disease, I mean coronavirus or Cardi B infarction, whichever comes last.

Lennie Mcfish 19

Friday 3 April 2020 18:12

dude I feel so sorry for you

Comments

Lennie Mcfish 19

Friday 3 April 2020 18:12

dude I feel so sorry for you

sickerthanyou 13

Friday 3 April 2020 18:30

At least she isn’t a stripper robbing johns

RichardPencil 30

Friday 3 April 2020 19:41

You might want to social distance from her until this disease passes. By this disease, I mean coronavirus or Cardi B infarction, whichever comes last.