Miscellaneous: Check these bad boys out

Check these bad boys out

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 06:57 - Australia

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 40 171

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Same thing different taste

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 064

You deserved it 4 628

By milkshake - 23/01/2013 00:29 - United States - Pasadena

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 714

You deserved it 6 285

Big one

By Cnscott0205 - 17/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 272

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 364

You deserved it 12 713

Natural history

By latino - 11/11/2010 11:30 - United States

Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 547

You deserved it 43 714

Ethics in medecine

By Savannah - 07/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 863

You deserved it 594

By donuts678 - 16/08/2015 23:37 - United States - Passaic

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 8 215

Moobs

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 008

You deserved it 54 698

Look up here

By Cody - 06/07/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 931

You deserved it 53 785

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 038

You deserved it 5 541

faildood 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 16:42

if your GM is a guy..expect a pay raise

XOfiestypixie 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 17:01

They're from Australia, silly. Why would they go to the US when Thailand is so much closer?

Comments

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 11 September 2009 0:09

Leaving to go fap forever, of course.

KRONie 0

Friday 11 September 2009 0:18

pictures, or it didn't happen.

billchilled 0

Friday 11 September 2009 0:34

wtf is up with these people saying picture or it didn't happen? Who gives a shit why would they have a picture of that dumbshit.

ichwillkeinengel 0

Friday 11 September 2009 1:00

Because lesbian action is HOT.

xpxp2002 4

Friday 11 September 2009 1:19

I was just going to say the same thing...haha

greenltrn2003 0

Friday 11 September 2009 1:19

#1 what I was thinking exactly...****** sight to see

tigsccrpurple 0

Friday 11 September 2009 2:41

haha that sucks - though its just like in Meet the Fockers!!

LMDaniel_Brendle 0

Friday 11 September 2009 3:51

damn u shoulda titty ****** them :)

cat83 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:21

This sounds like the beginning of a good porno

tabbycat 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:24

* points* HARRASSMENT! LOL

GnarGnar420 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:33

your GM probably creamed in his pants, defiently not your everyday sight, wish it was though

shelboo_fml 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:55

I love you.

MikeLitoris_fml 0

Friday 11 September 2009 6:40

sooooo... what's the problem?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

The Top

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 119

You deserved it 1 869

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 778

You deserved it 20 849

Today, I overheard my manager tell a customer that it's perfectly safe for dogs to eat grapes if they're seedless. I work in a pet store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 240

You deserved it 200

Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 3 220

Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 219

You deserved it 2 296

Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 92