Miscellaneous: Check these bad boys out

Check these bad boys out

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 06:57 - Australia

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 40 171

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Same thing different taste

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 064

You deserved it 4 628

By milkshake - 23/01/2013 00:29 - United States - Pasadena

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 714

You deserved it 6 285

Big one

By Cnscott0205 - 17/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 272

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 364

You deserved it 12 713

Natural history

By latino - 11/11/2010 11:30 - United States

Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 547

You deserved it 43 714

Ethics in medecine

By Savannah - 07/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 863

You deserved it 594

By donuts678 - 16/08/2015 23:37 - United States - Passaic

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 8 215

Moobs

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 008

You deserved it 54 698

Look up here

By Cody - 06/07/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 931

You deserved it 53 785

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 038

You deserved it 5 541

faildood 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 16:42

if your GM is a guy..expect a pay raise

XOfiestypixie 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 17:01

They're from Australia, silly. Why would they go to the US when Thailand is so much closer?

Comments

MrAdventure 1

Friday 11 September 2009 7:17

I guess you never heard of locking the door?

BoyMac 0

Friday 11 September 2009 10:10

HA HA HA! Great...

olisykes_ 0

Friday 11 September 2009 10:50

i'm gonna go have a wank now.

Cordeh 0

Friday 11 September 2009 17:28

I dont need the you deserved it or the that sucks buttons. i need a like button.

qwerty123456789 0

Friday 11 September 2009 23:25

Dude that's even funnier than the FML.

unruly1 1

Monday 14 September 2009 21:42

without pictures I can't believe it.

NormanRider14 0

Tuesday 15 September 2009 4:41

wow lucky were they soft? how big were they?

AntiChrist7 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:27

Sweet

JC193 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 11:06

Agreed, LMFAO @ 16

Bethanynel813 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 6:10

Your fault 100 percent.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 46 505

The Top

Today, I cheated on a math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in, feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 923

You deserved it 208 962

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 895

You deserved it 2 956

Today, in an effort to rearrange my bedroom, I planned to reroute my internet cables under my house. Then I found out about the black widow infestation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 619

You deserved it 486

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 3 212

Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 968

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 134

You deserved it 2 243