Love, Health and Farts: Chemical warfare

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 424

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 728

You deserved it 10 931

By Ohdear - 16/06/2019 15:08 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 609

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 6 315

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 956

You deserved it 6 840

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 695

You deserved it 7 923

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 309

You deserved it 5 072

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 493

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 422

You deserved it 4 496

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 284

You deserved it 6 509

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 348

You deserved it 2 825

Crowned Sataness 12

Saturday 13 July 2024 9:10

that's not a FML, that's ****** hilarious. I stink my hubs out all the time

Yudith 24

Saturday 13 July 2024 19:16

Next step: reenact those Japanese farting war ukio-e with your husband and two fans.

Comments

Crowned Sataness 12

Saturday 13 July 2024 9:10

that's not a FML, that's ****** hilarious. I stink my hubs out all the time

Yudith 24

Saturday 13 July 2024 19:16

Next step: reenact those Japanese farting war ukio-e with your husband and two fans.

Keywords

Scams Food Money Relatable Parents Health Lonely Growing old Love Work Games Miscellaneous Cheating Weird Awkward Romantic Sex Intimacy Birthday Shopping Ironic Sexting Porn Embarrassing Confused Restaurants Cute Kids Family Music

The Top

Today, at a family dinner, my grandma asked me why I’m still single. Before I could answer, my dad, always ready with dad joke, quipped, "Because everyone he tries to date runs away faster than he can catch them." My family laughed, and my grandma just nodded and said, "Makes sense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 68

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 304

You deserved it 4 673

The Top

Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 255

You deserved it 44 793

Today, I went in for a root canal. After a heavy dose of anesthetic, my tooth still wasn't numb, which I only realized when they started drilling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 600

You deserved it 1 625

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 16 593

Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 190

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 177

You deserved it 1 696

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 257

You deserved it 5 693

Chemical warfare

Same thing different taste

Family portrait

Oh no…

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