Miscellaneous: City kids

City kids

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 08:00 - United States - North Pole

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 305

You deserved it 25 353

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fmlpgh - 16/02/2010 11:51 - United States

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 569

You deserved it 2 713

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 312

You deserved it 5 136

By Wtf - 03/11/2015 22:06

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 750

You deserved it 3 510

By our kids will be derps - 22/06/2013 19:28 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 481

You deserved it 6 946

By feckingnasty - 26/01/2018 19:00

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 649

You deserved it 463

The good old days

By WOWreally - 25/09/2009 06:24 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 043

You deserved it 12 113

By Random737193 - 07/05/2015 19:52 - United States - Haddonfield

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 189

You deserved it 3 010

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 3 576

By Maggie - 18/03/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 3 509

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 5 195

day624 14

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:02

Aw nuts! Thats something i would do! Laugh it off thats a funny moment!

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:06

Were they near the Neanderthal Mountain Dew cans and the Paleolithic condoms?

Comments

rsunshine2020 13

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:10

That's so funny!! You probably just made the day lol!

greenie213 23

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:10

That's perfectly understandable, we have a lot of small shell fossils around where I live that look somewhat like million year old pistachio shells.

isaiaah 6

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:11

Play it off as a joke. Best of luck, gotta go save more disastrous observations.

alohalili 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:18

Just act like it never happened :)

appleshowers3 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:20

Oh silly woman This is why we stay in the kitchen :p

BunchieRules 31

Tuesday 17 July 2012 18:02

Wait... when did sexism come into this? OP mistakes pistachio shells for prehistoric fossils, therefore, all women should stay in the kitchen? That makes about as much sense as the end of this sentence refrigerator octopus lizard.

Briiyahh 7

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:51

Calm down it was just a joke have a sense of humor

olpally 32

Tuesday 17 July 2012 20:36

60, that was a very poor joke though. Sexist comments will not be tolerated on here. Sincerely-Michael.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:21

Cavemen ate those pistachios.

Spiral_Thoughts 19

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:22

Wow, discovering fossils is that easy!? I'll try it myself right now! *looks in Fridge* Forget fossils, look! I just discovered a new species of ewe! Watch as it bounds through the Cottage Cheese fields and rests in the Coke Zero Everglades . . . *holds up the rotten banana* Um . . . Eww?

Bonzer 2

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:28

Thats a nutty thing to sa... *gets shot*

whosindahouse 9

Tuesday 17 July 2012 18:00

In the nuts

Axipiter 24

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:04

Roadhouse.

outoftown 26

Wednesday 18 July 2012 4:42

only gets shot if spouse is trying to quit smoking.

lostfaithinpppl 19

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:37

Next time look at things more closely before jumping to conclusions.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 17 July 2012 18:27

At a scenic overlook, it's very important not to jump at all.

Unbweavable 17

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:38

Who could blame you? Lack of air (because your higher up), plus excitement of being in a new & beautiful place could make you a bit confused. Atleast you realized your mistake.