Valentine's slay, Engagement-phobic and Love: Classic Jeff

Classic Jeff

By Anonymous - 02/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Peru

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 963

You deserved it 1 559

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 19:01 - United States

Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 525

You deserved it 4 718

Duh…

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 02:53 - Canada

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 081

You deserved it 4 186

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 93 787

By Anonymous - 04/08/2012 06:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 2 247

By thefailure - 02/08/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 163

You deserved it 16 711

By DutchOven - 04/07/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 397

You deserved it 25 955

The show must go on!

By Stuckwiththebill - 28/01/2018 01:30

Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 638

You deserved it 438

By shades - 09/01/2012 03:43 - United Kingdom

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 382

You deserved it 3 426

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 798

You deserved it 5 013

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 22:29 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 150

You deserved it 30 367

Andrew Dutch Beebe 6

Thursday 2 February 2017 18:15

That was a good idea.

infinitemonkey 21

Thursday 2 February 2017 18:22

Saying something funny and offensive would be bad. But saying something that isn't even funny...how drunk was he?

Comments

Andrew Dutch Beebe 6

Thursday 2 February 2017 18:15

That was a good idea.

infinitemonkey 21

Thursday 2 February 2017 18:22

Saying something funny and offensive would be bad. But saying something that isn't even funny...how drunk was he?

ApocaClips 5

Thursday 2 February 2017 21:26

enlighten me on how that was offensive

zack1876 7

Thursday 2 February 2017 23:25

It's a line from family guy which he probably found to be funny.

vandj8 9

Friday 3 February 2017 3:07

Yeah, except Peter said testicles, not genitals.

CliffyB03 28

Saturday 4 February 2017 14:03

Maybe the groom wanted to include everyone lol

Kaylana_fml 31

Wednesday 8 February 2017 22:50

Making jokes at weddings = charming and fun. Making a joke of your wedding = offensive and a bad sign. If you can't innately see how that was inappropriate, there's little hope of someone else educating you.