Love: Classy guy

Classy guy

By NewlyDread - 06/02/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 427

You deserved it 7 434

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2016 14:50 - United Kingdom - Shepton Mallet

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 688

You deserved it 1 973

Swoon

By anonymous - 14/03/2010 05:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size, he asked for me to find a ring that I liked, and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh, the generosity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 987

You deserved it 37 021

How can I put this…?

By jkl54 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States - Salem

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 320

You deserved it 6 706

By badluck - 21/07/2014 19:31 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 397

You deserved it 5 751

By whatsername92 - 01/02/2013 03:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 542

You deserved it 4 559

By Loved - 25/05/2019 16:15

Today, my boyfriend bought me an engagement ring. It turned out to be the wrong size and we had to return it, since the store said it couldn't be re-sized. As we headed home, I felt guilty, so I turned to him and apologized. His response? "It's OK honey, I didn't really want to marry you that much anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 210

By arthise - 09/10/2013 07:03 - United States - Evansville

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 034

You deserved it 17 195

By undanya__four - 10/04/2015 20:19 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, my boyfriend told me he's prepared to commit to marriage, but only if I buy my own ring and tell everyone he surprised me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 183

You deserved it 3 691

For better, for worse

By limegreengiraffe - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Lubbock

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 856

You deserved it 7 466

By dino0123 - 12/12/2012 17:51 - United States - Herndon

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 458

You deserved it 4 502

bornaunicorn 12

Wednesday 6 February 2013 9:01

You are one lucky lady!

chelsearenaeee 16

Wednesday 6 February 2013 9:03

She clearly gets the D

Comments

myusername23 17

Wednesday 6 February 2013 14:10

That is ******* funny as

Gfm1210 0

Wednesday 6 February 2013 15:18

Lmao at least he's hanging LOL

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 6 February 2013 15:52

Well, who wants to whip it out only to be told "sorry dawg, you only get a 2% discount for that" *shuffles back to corner and cries*

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 6 February 2013 15:56

I'm wondering if the real FML is based on OPs user name and the honeymoon expectation? If he's telling the truth, OUCH! If he's lying, DAMN!!!

sugarbear0727 19

Wednesday 6 February 2013 16:14

Lmfao. That's hilarious. It sucks that you were embarrassed, but he made a good point.

AliveLikeFire 7

Thursday 7 February 2013 1:18

A rather inaccurate one.

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 6 February 2013 16:36

IMO, men with small penises act like the biggest assholes vs the nice guys. A big diamond ring just means you have more money, not a small penis.

friedbunnies 9

Wednesday 6 February 2013 16:41

You're sure you want this forever? Divorce is messy and expensive, and they only get worse with time.

BreezZz 3

Wednesday 6 February 2013 17:43

Like a BOSS

liesseling 13

Wednesday 6 February 2013 17:45

I want a bf like this.

DDCA 24

Thursday 7 February 2013 15:16

With lips like those, I want a girlfriend like you!

mrebeccan 19

Wednesday 6 February 2013 18:03

Dude! your boyfriend is hilarious... it was a joke right ?

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The Top

Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I'm pansexual. I said attracts what me to him is his intelligence and personality, and would still love him whether or not he had a penis. Turns out a 100% straight cis man can prioritise his penis over his intelligence and personality, because he's really offended now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 1 427

Today, I once again had to apologise to a date for cumming too fast as they stormed out the door angry at me. I don’t get it, I’m in shape, I don’t watch porn, and I’ve even had therapy, so why can’t I last longer than 15 seconds before busting my load like an inexperienced teen? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 497

The Top

Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 349

You deserved it 23 623

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 910

You deserved it 17 044

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 2 771

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237

You deserved it 11 935

Today, both my mom and I are very ill, while her boyfriend is perfectly fine. Somehow, this means that I’m the one having to take care of my mom, myself, the household and 6 pets, while he does nothing, goes on trips and leaves dirt all over the house when he’s here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 141

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 096

You deserved it 5 863