Health: Complexion

Complexion

By balloonface - 18/02/2016 07:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 816

You deserved it 2 323

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Same thing different taste

By pizzaface - 15/03/2010 11:50 - United States

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 132

You deserved it 5 558

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 611

You deserved it 31 360

By Tingly - 16/08/2010 03:12 - United States

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 452

You deserved it 6 285

By Painfulfaceforme - 14/03/2010 02:30 - Canada

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 779

You deserved it 31 265

Glued up

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 12:00 - Germany

Today, I was grumbling about how they apparently changed the recipe of my favorite lotion and made it all weird and sticky, when I realized that, no, what they actually did was design a bottle of shower cream that looks almost exactly LIKE that of my favorite lotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 720

By Herestheskinny - 29/04/2017 02:00

Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 490

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 03:00

Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 387

By GhillieSuitsnBiscuits - 10/04/2016 20:53 - United States - Portland

Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 566

You deserved it 1 467

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 139

By badcomparison - 18/12/2016 07:02 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 546

You deserved it 828

nodeathtoall 19

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:37

Next time ask for a demonstration

BlackHawkSavior 28

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:39

Hide all sharp objects

Comments

nodeathtoall 19

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:37

Next time ask for a demonstration

whysobeachy 37

Thursday 18 February 2016 20:32

It could have to do with OP's skin quality, though.

ChopSuey444 20

Thursday 18 February 2016 22:13

Sample is probably the word we're looking for

ladyLALAA 28

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:37

Sorry to hear it they are usually so good! Hope it clears up soon.

TheLemonMan 24

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:37

Hey, I hear that rubber balloons get all the hotties nowadays.

drayloon 50

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:38

"Skin that defies aging and snaps back to place"

whysobeachy 37

Thursday 18 February 2016 20:33

And can be used by children above the age of three, as a plaything.

razoray9 22

Thursday 18 February 2016 22:48

And will expand as he sucks in more air till he just floats away

BlackHawkSavior 28

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:39

Hide all sharp objects

whysobeachy 37

Thursday 18 February 2016 20:36

Would that include pet cats?

Jared900DUmpling 30

Sunday 7 August 2016 12:15

I hope OP isnt into acupuncture or piercings!

Rawrshi 25

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:42

There's a fetish for that.

sanuxo_ 22

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:45

You could return it. I've done it before.

Sp4wn 17

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:46

You shouldn't really trust employees on that stuff. They are just trying to sell you something. Look up some reviews next time.

PANDORUM89 21

Thursday 18 February 2016 20:12

some makeup locations require you to have a degree in cosmetology before they are allowed to suggest products or apply makeup. I know a friend of mine needed one to work at sephora and now works for MAC as one of their top artists. So while some people are shady AF. there are employees that want to help you.

kirkaygri 18

Thursday 18 February 2016 21:00

Retexturize means smooth and tighten. It sounds like the moisturizer did exactly what it was suppose to do. Now, OP not caring for that is different and it could still be returned for something that just moisturizes. I'd recommend a classic cream, not anything too fancy, if OP is just looking for a moisturizer. I use Oil of Olay. My 100 year old great grandmother used it twice a day and she died, from old age, looking 70.

Tripartita 44

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:52

Time to join a website for balloon fetishist—looners, as they're called—dating. When you make a connection and find that special someone, things will just pop!