Intimacy, Sex and Health: Congratulations

Congratulations

By stdpositivenow - 18/10/2011 14:16 - United States

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 735

You deserved it 5 127

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Same thing different taste

By She totally did not cheat - 15/08/2018 22:00

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 352

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 224

You deserved it 9 905

By lowlife123 - 01/05/2012 03:01 - United States - Manawa

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 959

You deserved it 7 439

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 9 625

Why not both?

By Alexandra - 20/09/2011 08:25 - Lebanon

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 630

You deserved it 8 986

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 395

You deserved it 18 259

That's… a strange coincidence

By Anonymous - 10/01/2021 05:01

Today, my boyfriend of three years hooked up with a girl who got herpes from a Michigan football player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 132

Wrap it

By Anonymous - 09/07/2020 20:02

Today, my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for a year, decided to tell me that he has herpes and has not taken any precautions to stop it from passing on. We have had unprotected sex quite a lot over the last year, so now I most likely have herpes too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 537

By nickrick12 - 19/07/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 5 860

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 219

You deserved it 3 330

Tsunami87 17

Tuesday 18 October 2011 19:51

Ironically both of those things are timeless

thebeanishere 8

Tuesday 18 October 2011 19:51

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas except herpes that shit will follow you.

Comments

TuLegit 4

Friday 21 October 2011 3:31

Holy shit that's ****** up!!!

lulzmylife 4

Friday 21 October 2011 7:49

I hope you can get your money back for the watch!

darthrawn 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 0:00

New boyfriend time. And make sure you tell EVERYBODY why.

aroman2312 10

Saturday 22 October 2011 7:21

oh lord I am so sorry. :

arielle13 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:53

what a boyfriend u got there "/ shouldnt be getting intimate unmarried and without protection.

TeamKK 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 5:40

Wowwww! That sucks! Sorry :/

melkymac101 17

Sunday 27 November 2011 6:27

You should have sued.

mrtjawesome 14

Tuesday 6 March 2012 6:14

he gave you a rollex, and the new kind of swatch from croatia. think about it.

savannahc 0

Monday 19 March 2012 20:27

Omg!

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 8 May 2012 0:28

Take that jewelry and wear it like a man! Even more manly than your ex.

Keywords

Neighbours Miscellaneous Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Love Party Jealousy Family Argument Fight Cats Animals Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs AITA Work

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Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 63

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I agree, your life sucks 11

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The Top

Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 305

You deserved it 429

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back into the house, screaming, "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 739

You deserved it 8 358

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 260

You deserved it 2 902

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 206

Today, when I left for work at 7:00 am, my dad was playing Grand Theft Auto 5. When I got home at 3:30, he was still playing. I'm 18 years old. He's 45. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 497

You deserved it 1 274

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 670

You deserved it 2 717