Love: Cool moves

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 4 526

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 733

You deserved it 2 734

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 809

You deserved it 4 128

By sarahh38 - 16/09/2009 18:23 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 166

You deserved it 105 527

By Kirta - 09/11/2009 15:18 - Canada

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 419

You deserved it 38 105

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 341

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 8 137

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

By Mr Pippin - 09/09/2018 22:00

Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 339

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 997

You deserved it 18 158

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 18:26

Thank god your date was blind and didn't see it eh? That would have been embarrassing.

thegr8dane 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 16:21

so, any bets on how many "shitty situation" puns we're gonna see? this, of course, including variations thereof...

Comments

blastvortex 3

Wednesday 13 January 2010 19:09

Haha. That's priceless. Of course, if you'd been forthright and smartly rid yourself of your problem without trying to act cool, the latter part of your story might never have happened.

hb215 2

Sunday 12 August 2012 21:01

Or she would've wiped it off in the grass anyway and still slipped... Can't blame her for trying to be discreet

ndiesal 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 19:25

What a shitty day... pun 100% intended. You should buy a lottery ticket while you're at it!

dochoc_fml 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:00

the world hates you

Crysta_fml 3

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:10

Embarassing things happen, but they're not embarassing if you don't get embarassed. the first time I met my fiancé I puked all over his bed. don't worry about it ;)

FlyPhoenix 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:40

aww thats sooo sad.

softballer22 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 22:29

bahahahahahaa! you said goose poop. xD

Soulathyia 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 23:16

softballer must be like 10. BTW I just saw this FML like last week. Exact copy. So FYL for not having enough of a life to create an original FML!

farmgirl 3

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:11

Who cares? If it was a blind date it's not like your date could see you do it.

mnkygrl 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:50

I love all the budding ornithologists who have never been to WA state this time of year to see the hundreds of geese. They pretty much stay here year round. And the goose poop is gross.