Intimacy: Cool trick, mom

Cool trick, mom

By fuck florida - 16/05/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 444

You deserved it 5 995

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Same thing different taste

Breakfast innuendo

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 15:30 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 253

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 442

You deserved it 3 390

By whygod - 12/06/2016 13:45

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 373

You deserved it 1 415

By potassiumgirl - 11/04/2012 19:53 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 058

You deserved it 38 886

By unwanted daughter - 02/07/2014 15:54 - Canada - Oliver

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 212

You deserved it 5 854

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 334

You deserved it 7 539

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 286

You deserved it 2 451

By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 182

You deserved it 32 498

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 928

You deserved it 74 572

By Operation Yewtree here I come - 26/09/2014 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 368

You deserved it 4 214

v8nick97 11

Saturday 17 May 2014 5:05

That'll be hard to forget. Sorry, op.

thatoneninjadude 14

Saturday 17 May 2014 5:11

At least we know she's up on her potassium.

Comments

jamie_babe 4

Sunday 18 May 2014 1:04

"i agree, your life sucks" should be changed to "i agree, your mom sucks".. and quite well i might add

kassl_11 4

Sunday 18 May 2014 5:07

Did you knock?

mattyiscool123 26

Sunday 18 May 2014 5:31

**** florida?

xenrix 1

Sunday 18 May 2014 5:49

her number?

_chelseamurray 1

Sunday 18 May 2014 15:19

I don't think any amount of therapy can help repress that memory, sorry.

teashock 5

Sunday 18 May 2014 21:57

Can't help picturing the same with my mother. I would like to block this FML from my mind.

TryHardNinja747 2

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:11

you're mom is thirsty.

Shyboy333 10

Monday 19 May 2014 1:36

sorry to hear that

MikeyScene420 17

Monday 19 May 2014 2:05

I'm a 17 year old straight male. I can do it too. Tell her to get over herself because it's not that amazing.

f0xr0t 8

Monday 19 May 2014 23:19

would suck more if she was deeptroating ur dad for example

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

The Top

Today, and ever since my dad had to give up his rented office space, he now works on his equations on a big whiteboard where the dining room table used to be. He’s also one of those weirdos who can only concentrate properly without his pants on. The horrors I’ve seen several times already… FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 149

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turned sexual. He stopped responding but I continued with the conversation. Then I got a response, "This is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 8 094

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 406

You deserved it 27 671

Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 158

You deserved it 3 327

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 301

You deserved it 11 961

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 557

You deserved it 5 780