Intimacy, Awkward and Wanker: *Cough cough*

Cough cough

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, right now, for some reason my dad is sat in the living room masturbating. In our house you have to go through the living room to reach the front door, as there's no access to the front of the house if I go out the back to the garden. It’s been a while. If he doesn’t hurry up I’ll be late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 77

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 167

You deserved it 1 275

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 911

You deserved it 7 070

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 710

You deserved it 2 759

By sally - 25/01/2014 17:42 - United States - Augusta

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 765

You deserved it 9 477

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 901

You deserved it 4 741

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 045

You deserved it 35 389

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 061

You deserved it 16 427

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 763

You deserved it 5 869

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 197

You deserved it 37 100

By Lockedinroom - 05/02/2013 16:18 - United States

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 404

You deserved it 13 919

TwoBytesCarley 27

Sunday 14 July 2024 16:27

What the actual ****. Tell him to go charm his snake in the bedroom or washroom like a normal human being who has kids at home!

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Monday 15 July 2024 0:36

Make like you’re giving someone a tour of your place on FaceTime.

Comments

TwoBytesCarley 27

Sunday 14 July 2024 16:27

What the actual ****. Tell him to go charm his snake in the bedroom or washroom like a normal human being who has kids at home!

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Monday 15 July 2024 0:36

Make like you’re giving someone a tour of your place on FaceTime.

Battousai124 7

Monday 15 July 2024 16:46

Might be a bad idea since he apparently likes the thrill of being caught or someone watching.

Underscore_foo 4

Monday 15 July 2024 1:08

That does not sound like a safe family household. You have your father masturbating in the family room…

Lost Reggie 19

Tuesday 16 July 2024 4:40

Just walk on by like nothing is happening.

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I agree, your life sucks 29 831

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*Cough cough*

Same thing different taste

Knock first

Quick thinking

Top comments

Comments

Cough cough