Intimacy, Covid and Lockdown: Covidiots just wanna have fun

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Covidiots just wanna have fun

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59

Today, I've been in lockdown for so long, I got turned on by washing carrots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 233

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Same thing different taste

Lockdown boredom

By Anonymous - 20/12/2020 02:08 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, thanks to 10 months of lockdown, the most intimate thing I have done on a Saturday night during this time is use a hobby knife to cut 1/4" thick calluses off my feet. I don't even walk anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 195

Gordon says you SUCK

By James - 01/04/2020 17:00

Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 1 333

That Monday feeling

By Ed. - 20/07/2020 05:01

Today, I have to go into work for the first time since the Covid-19 lockdown. I've been working from home since March. Today was also the first time since going on lockdown that I cut myself shaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 230

By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 811

You deserved it 44 341

Send help!

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 23:30 - India - Pune

Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 386

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 367

You deserved it 4 657

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 127

You deserved it 10 961

By HBCruiser - 14/07/2019 02:30

Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 175

Partaaaaaaaay !

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 23:01 - Germany

Today, being unemployed and under lockdown, my idea of a party is driving to the dentist and turning the sound system up in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 137

News from China

By HkxAliso0302 - 03/03/2020 22:00 - China - Beijing

Today, I've been trapped at home for almost two months because of the epidemic. Now I'm thrilled just to get to go outside to throw garbage away, as if I'm going on a trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 223

hdisnfjs91 21

Sunday 29 August 2021 17:26

Do you live in Australia by any chance.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 29 August 2021 7:22

Food and nourishment are always aphrodisiacs, pandemic or not

Comments

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 29 August 2021 7:22

Food and nourishment are always aphrodisiacs, pandemic or not

hdisnfjs91 21

Sunday 29 August 2021 17:26

Do you live in Australia by any chance.

xaonng 5

Monday 30 August 2021 16:41

get a cucumber and make a salad I guess...bigger than most dudes anyways

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The Top

Today, my ex asked me if he could live with me so he wouldn't be homeless. He also asked if he could introduce me to his new girlfriend so they wouldn't have "trust issues." This coming from the same guy living with grandma and mom, who has no job, no car, and basically dumped me for her. Like, sure buddy I'll get right on making her feel comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 146

Today, we went to an amusement park, or tried to. My idiot husband stuck his hand under his shirt like a gun and demanded free passes and "all the cash" as a joke. He's banned for life, they escorted us off the premises, and my children are inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 152

The Top

Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 062

You deserved it 639

Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. Her birthday was actually two months ago, but she decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 033

You deserved it 5 110

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 946

You deserved it 5 290

Today, I realized the reason I was asked to babysit 3 weeks ago for Feb 14 was because the old married couple with kids safely assumed that I wouldn't have a Valentine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 610

You deserved it 3 127

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 845

You deserved it 226

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 108

You deserved it 10 271