Miscellaneous: Cracked - FML

Cracked

By Sous_Chef - 11/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, my roommate came in, slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he'd cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 959

You deserved it 3 094

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Same thing different taste

By Chris - 02/02/2010 05:40 - France

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 685

You deserved it 82 639

By lynn777 - 04/04/2011 20:42 - Canada

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 22 353

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 46 318

By Biggie - 02/02/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 273

You deserved it 4 374

Boiling point

By sharky - 05/10/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 106

You deserved it 2 043

Waiting anxiously

By ProFesser - 28/03/2017 16:00

Today, while heading outside to go to work, I slip on my driveway and my coffee thermos-mug ends up flying out of my hand, and smashes my next door neighbor's brand new truck window. The thermos-mug broke and splashed hot coffee all over his seats too. He's a hard-ass military dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 545

You deserved it 714

Stealthy

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 07:29 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents awoke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 283

You deserved it 29 773

Mythbusters

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while trying to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to break in, my drunk dad threw a brick at my window. Luckily, he missed. It hit the wall and bounced off. Unluckily, it bounced off, landed on my wife’s car, broke the windscreen, slid off, and put a long scratch down the bonnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 95

By Vero - 17/05/2012 15:02 - Austria - Timelkam

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 356

You deserved it 3 529

By snowman - 06/02/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 013

You deserved it 11 830

Next

Top comments

aback 4

Friday 11 December 2009 16:10

Key his name onto his car so he knows.

natpewpew 0

Friday 11 December 2009 16:03

And now, you can safely sue him or sent him the bill! :D

Comments

drips 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:22

dude all yuh have to do is switch yur plates not that hard dum ass

sabatical 0

Friday 12 March 2010 8:28

pour boiling water on your roommate. :/

Seabeast1000 4

Tuesday 15 June 2010 8:58

throw water on his and say you thought it was your own 

aichd13 4

Monday 11 April 2011 20:36

SUE! :D Or key his name in his car so he can tell...

juston_p 1

Saturday 9 July 2011 17:19

switch the plates and keys while he sleeps

princessAj1 6

Friday 29 July 2011 4:15

epic fail , next time make sure your car isn't the same as your stupid friend

Nwthatzfunny 9

Tuesday 20 March 2012 15:32

thats what you get for having the same car

Ririshi 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 0:02

Fake and Gay. No just kiddin. What r u gonn do?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 205

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, my father is really enjoying the iPhone my mother gave him for Christmas. He's enjoying it so much that he's already installed all sorts of dating apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 953

You deserved it 1 589

Today, my brother texted me a picture of his "upcoming disconnect" notice for his utility bill and asked if I could loan him the money to pay it. All I could give him was a picture of my "disconnected" notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 556

You deserved it 448

Today, it's been three weeks since I’ve seen my kids. My ex just decided that I was a safety concern after we had 50/50 for almost two years. Now I just gotta wait until I can see a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 209

Today, my husband and my kids seem to think that all of them sitting in the same room, engrossed in electronic devices, is a valid form of child/parent relationship. Whenever I try to interfere by, for example, suggesting a trip out or a game night, I get glared at like I suggested swimming with piranhas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 261

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 200

You deserved it 44 960

Today, my dog hates my neighbor so much, she forms a shit barrier in their yard to keep them away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 247

You deserved it 1 883