Creepy guy
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Tell him that you'll smell however you want to, fart on him, and then tell him he'll smell however you want him to as well. In all seriousness, though, this guy sounds like a major whack job. Should you ever bump into him again, run fast; run far!
Now we know why he's your ex
Maybe hes half dog?
What is with the exes that turn crazy and loser-y after the breakup? Embarrassing.
Sounds like a no contact order may be a good thing.
Maybe its because you use a different lotion than he had you use before putting it back in the basket. Buffalo Bill is quite particular like that.
Keywords
Totally explains the 'ex'.
It sounds like you should be glad to have broken up with him.