By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 063
You deserved it 3 748
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Top comments

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Most of us are... :)

266 10
iiTzNeeNerz 26

Think of it this way: You were one fast and sneaky little swimmer.

158 2

Comments

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Most of us are... :)

266 10
Pleonasm 35

I'm alive because they didn't pay the stork enough to drop me.

84 2
perdix 29

#1, no, I was planned, and only regretted years later. I was a good baby and it's been downhill ever since.

72 6
Ambient25 24

That doesn't make sense...go sit in the corner.

5 55
Thundering_Jibbs 13

That's a lesson to all of you, never use a condom you find in a cereal box.

60 1
UnluckyGenius 21

#1 I was also planned in fact I beat some high odds being born a male due to the radiation my dad was exposed to in the Navy.

29 1
hugozac88 22

I'm alive because my dad hadn't heard of all these new fancy birth control methods... Like pulling out!

19 2
ohio53 6

Never eat cereal which contains a condom.

17 1
blakesinthelake 11

Haha being born a male with the "I am a man." Picture next to it

4 0
Horsempeg 25

my mother definitely told all 3 of us we were mistakes, while wasted..at my dads family reunion.

6 0
_DudeGuy_ 16

69, my mother told me, my brother, and my sister what alcoholic beverage intoxicated her on the night of our conceptions.

2 1
NoFlippinWai 24

I now live on the apartment I was conceived in. They were watching Purple Rain. My dad's words "Well, I was horny and you know how easily suggestable your mother is." Mom's version: I forgot to wear panties and I sat on a bar stool. You're imaculate. Your Sister, well, thats God's will. I would never do anythimg like that. I'm a virgin.

2 3
Mahtari 19

I'm alive. I had no choice in the matter, unfortunately.

0 0
AgirlnamedQing 4

That's so mean QAQ

9 60
Damian95 16

I think its trying to communicate.

76 4
gc327072 30

Ma'am, is that supposed to be a face of some kind?

39 1
SumBur 11

I read it as "quack." Am I the only one?

60 3
AgirlnamedQing 4

Sure. It's Quack. Let's go with that. I'm a undercover duck. Sssssssssssshhhhhh.

5 26
SumBur 11

I'm sorry, I only speak duck.

3 4
cathyfang1533 12

20 - I think it's either drunk or high. Take your pick.

3 1
Wowxoxo 17

It doesn't necessarily have to hurt.. OP could've asked if they are now happy the condom broke and if he made a positive difference to their lives.

12 6
iiTzNeeNerz 26

Think of it this way: You were one fast and sneaky little swimmer.

158 2
jarrettd 27

The first sperm to the egg usually never is the one that fertilizes it. It's a group effort of many sperm to push one through. Health class

13 18
strike2867 13

I guess that's a better way to think about it than your mom cheated on your dad without a condom.

0 3
kayteakay 26

I'm glad someone else knows their basic reproduction.

2 3
MaggieJH 7

We're all champions of the great sperm race

6 0
iiTzNeeNerz 26

When did I say he was first? I said he was fast. But you and #60 should get together and enlighten everyone else on the basics of reproduction since it seems that you two are the only ones educated on the subject :)

4 0
thatnucca 36

God deemed you worth-having and that's all that matters, regardless of what that human toothpick says...

29 63
FlyingLeumer 19

Ok, I realize people on FML are extremely varied in religion, but I hope we all agree life is a blessing, whether that blessing may be in disguise at the time. Thanks for cuing me ;)

10 3
kdm_km1 19

dang you were committed!

1 11
thewhite_obama69 7

Harsh but at least hes able to tell the truth ;)

1 13