Creepy Uncle Dave

By ScandinaviaBacon - 11/06/2019 20:00

Today, I returned from my year-long vacation to Brazil, having lost a lot of weight and feeling better about my self-confidence. When I met my uncle at the airport, I greeted him with a friendly hug. I was greeted by his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 825

You deserved it 233

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nikkiquila_0699 - 05/09/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 404

You deserved it 4 869

By sunshine - 29/06/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 893

You deserved it 936

By boyishgirl - 27/02/2015 19:14 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 951

You deserved it 3 092

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 253

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 576

You deserved it 21 155

By accidentalnorman - 07/12/2015 10:11

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 232

You deserved it 31 143

MILF

By Anonymous - 22/06/2014 16:34 - United States - Syosset

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 797

You deserved it 5 107

By LosTits - 03/09/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 818

You deserved it 5 265

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 500

You deserved it 4 176

Jackey 29

Tuesday 11 June 2019 20:16

You should have ended the hug by forcefully introducing his crotch to your knee.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 12 June 2019 2:18

How is that not a huge confidence boost? Your weight loss was be so successful, you now give your own uncle a raging boner! Sounds like a big, fat compliment to me!

Comments

Jackey 29

Tuesday 11 June 2019 20:16

You should have ended the hug by forcefully introducing his crotch to your knee.

JustThatPerson 21

Tuesday 11 June 2019 20:19

Not all erections are intentional lol

Jackey 29

Tuesday 11 June 2019 20:22

Yeah, being a guy, I get that... but I've yet to rub mine against anyone who didn't want it... and if I ever start rubbing against family members, I'll toss myself off a bridge.

cazziuz1983 9

Tuesday 11 June 2019 20:25

There Is a diffrence between rubbing against some one, and someone feeling it during a hug... That being said uncle should have did the one armed sideways hug

rotflqtms_ 21

Tuesday 11 June 2019 23:07

Yeah, if a guy is hugging a family member, not their significant other, their waist areas don't need to be touching. Honestly when I hug family, it's always a lean in hug, especially if I'm hugging a Male. I don't even hug other girls standing fully straight, so even if a guy has an unintentional erection, I'll most likely not notice unless I look down... Like... idk all the inner workings of the male mind to know why they have unintentional erections, must suck, but if you're a guy, learn to do a leaning hug at least.

PenguinPal3017 19

Wednesday 12 June 2019 1:45

She greeted him with a hug. It may have been entirely her pushing into him.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 12 June 2019 2:18

How is that not a huge confidence boost? Your weight loss was be so successful, you now give your own uncle a raging boner! Sounds like a big, fat compliment to me!