Intimacy: Creepy - FML

Creepy

By battle1 - 17/07/2015 11:00 - United States - Marietta

Spicy

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 611

You deserved it 4 386

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 972

You deserved it 8 444

What a wanker

By Anonymous - 01/06/2019 20:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 218

You deserved it 278

Live chat

By Anonymous - 19/12/2019 01:00 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, I found my best friend's girlfriend on a webcam site. I then told him, and his only response was, "Yeah, I know, that's where we met." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 596

Facebook of what?

By TheOtherWoman - 18/01/2013 17:21 - United Kingdom - Weston-super-mare

Spicy

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 3 336

By Abrams52 - 28/05/2013 05:44 - United States - Fishers

Spicy

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 660

You deserved it 35 858

Involuntary

By hannahthedino - 20/07/2021 04:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 134

Creeper alert!

By creeper-status - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Irvine

Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 567

You deserved it 1 067

By hb1 - 04/06/2016 18:15 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 725

You deserved it 3 164

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 057

You deserved it 906

By offrampmotel - 28/03/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 375

You deserved it 738

Next

Top comments

thevelociraptor 31

Saturday 18 July 2015 0:31

I'm thinking your best friend may want to be a little more than just buddies.

brendejafulable 41

Saturday 18 July 2015 0:29

Maybe you have a very provocative page.

Comments

idkwhyxD 5

Saturday 26 November 2016 18:54

at least it wasn't your ex telling you he only cheated on you because his 3 ^best friends" and ex were there before and he didn't love you get even though he proposed to you while you were pregnant before hand..

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Awkward Work Mental health Stressed out Health Gross Family Love Weddings AITA Am I overreacting? Phone calls Embarrassing Relatable Shoes Pranks Farts Cute Kids Parents Birthday Argument Neighbours Keys Students Wanker Intimacy Coworkers

The Top

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 389

You deserved it 2 869

Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 3 438

The Top

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 76

Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant, so she swapped my dairy-free milk with regular milk. I’m writing this from the toilet and I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, with cramps and diarrhoea. She’s also complaining about the foul smell coming from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 817

You deserved it 179

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 806

You deserved it 2 358

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 337

You deserved it 4 332

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 761

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I realized that in the 3 and half month relationship with a wonderful guy I truly like, so far I've masturbated more than the whole year I was single before I met him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 267