Intimacy: Creepy - FML

Creepy

By battle1 - 17/07/2015 11:00 - United States - Marietta

Spicy

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 616

You deserved it 4 386

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 973

You deserved it 8 444

What a wanker

By Anonymous - 01/06/2019 20:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 278

Live chat

By Anonymous - 19/12/2019 01:00 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, I found my best friend's girlfriend on a webcam site. I then told him, and his only response was, "Yeah, I know, that's where we met." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 603

Facebook of what?

By TheOtherWoman - 18/01/2013 17:21 - United Kingdom - Weston-super-mare

Spicy

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 244

You deserved it 3 336

By Abrams52 - 28/05/2013 05:44 - United States - Fishers

Spicy

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 661

You deserved it 35 859

Involuntary

By hannahthedino - 20/07/2021 04:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 134

Creeper alert!

By creeper-status - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Irvine

Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 568

You deserved it 1 068

By hb1 - 04/06/2016 18:15 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 726

You deserved it 3 165

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 059

You deserved it 906

By offrampmotel - 28/03/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 376

You deserved it 741

Next

Top comments

thevelociraptor 31

Saturday 18 July 2015 0:31

I'm thinking your best friend may want to be a little more than just buddies.

brendejafulable 41

Saturday 18 July 2015 0:29

Maybe you have a very provocative page.

Comments

idkwhyxD 5

Saturday 26 November 2016 18:54

at least it wasn't your ex telling you he only cheated on you because his 3 ^best friends" and ex were there before and he didn't love you get even though he proposed to you while you were pregnant before hand..

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 998

You deserved it 8 644

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 642

You deserved it 29 276

The Top

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 246

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 633

You deserved it 51 444

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 009

You deserved it 3 143

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 312

You deserved it 33 077

Today, I found out one of the neighborhood kids has been stealing from my mailbox. Several packages marked "delivered" had gone missing over the last few months, so I set up a trail cam in the yard. I notified the USPS and the police; they confronted him at his house. He's been reselling everything I ordered on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 87

Today, I took my road test. I'd never had driver's training and my mom taught me how to drive. I failed the test so badly, and when I got home my mom admitted to having taught me how to drive completely wrong because she didn't want me to get my license as she thinks I'm too young. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 902

You deserved it 4 570