Love: Cringe

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 5 278

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 426

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 045

You deserved it 31 383

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 907

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 12 726

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:17

Why the **** would everyone stand in the bathroom and watch a plumber elbow deep in shit? Was that the most popular item at the potluck? If so, be proud.

biancagolden 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:14

Man up and take pride in that slippery beast!

Comments

alexgisforme3 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:53

thats so embarassing lol you shoulda told them to get the **** away from the door and run hahahahahahaha

thesexyperson 3

Wednesday 4 April 2012 19:28

can i eat You out

RawrrKai 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:57

Why do people insist on making your poop seem ten times worse than it really is? First the girls outside the bathroom stall and now this? It's shit. We all do it. They act like their shit doesn't smell. EVERYONE'S SHIT SMELLS. Don't even take it personally. If they mention it, just tell them not to act like they've never had to take a shit after eating Taco Bell. Case. Closed.

papertigers_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:02

^^ what #13 said.

dirtyhippie 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:05

It's not your fault they would stand around watching - who would do that???? #13 is right shit is just a fact of life, just ask #4 (I can imagine my ex husband saying just that, he would prolly put it on his FaceBook with pics)

purple5 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:14

Yeah...if the toilet was bust they probably should've told you...FYL

Celebratelife 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:16

I agree with #13 too. Next time you're in a new bathroom, make sure the toilet works well before you poop in it. And I'm sorry, that really sucks. But don't worry, you'll laugh about it some day.

nesj 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:25

This has always been one of my bigger fears :) It sounds like the toilet wasn't clogged but that it just wasn't functioning. If this is so you can just take a bucket of water and pour it in the toilet, that will work to flush it.

adelaide_evening 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:33

It's more of an F your girlfriend's family's life if they have nothing better to do at a family get together than watch a plumber fix a toilet full of crap.

muchhate 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:39

Why hasn't anyone suggested how much of a useless idiot you are? Why didn't you find a random vessel, fill it with tap water, and use it to flush the toilet? Do you think a toilet is some kind of random, self-flushing device? The weight of the extra water flushes it you ******* idiot.