Love: Cringe

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

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Same thing different taste

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 5 278

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 426

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 045

You deserved it 31 383

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 907

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 12 726

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:17

Why the **** would everyone stand in the bathroom and watch a plumber elbow deep in shit? Was that the most popular item at the potluck? If so, be proud.

biancagolden 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:14

Man up and take pride in that slippery beast!

Comments

Kuroisakura 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:51

This is why I don't shit anywhere but work, home, or walmart (they deserve this.)

Truan_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 7:04

eat healthier, you ******* fat ass

ariannaaaaaaaaaa 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 8:10

Are you single now???

gaararox13 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 18:44

thats why you always flush in between craps so u dont plug it up

RuralNinja 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 0:56

They had the nerve to look at you? I would have looked at them like they ****** up, since they couldn't keep a working toilet in the house

kevy14 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:57

wat is a potluck? but that sucks man

Kylaka 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 19:02

#68 its when you get together with a group of people and everyone brings food/dinks from home and shares with everyone. It's awesome :) what kind of people sit there and watch?? lol

knocknockjokes 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 22:32

awwww that suckssss mann! haha i wonderr iff hess still datinggg herrrr!!! ahahaha!

iamtenyearsago 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 0:38

Dude totally happened to me. I didn't say a damn thing, and they thought it was my boyfriend's fat sister. Your fault for telling them. If it was a potluck, lots of people must have been there; they'd never have assumed it was you.