Love: Cringe

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

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Same thing different taste

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 5 278

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 426

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 045

You deserved it 31 383

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 907

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 12 726

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:17

Why the **** would everyone stand in the bathroom and watch a plumber elbow deep in shit? Was that the most popular item at the potluck? If so, be proud.

biancagolden 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:14

Man up and take pride in that slippery beast!

Comments

ladidadi 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 19:07

#21..."sour stomach" is a phrase, too...it's totally different from a sore stomach...

Waabishkii_ikwe 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 19:08

That's why I ALWAYS flush the toilet once with nothing in it when I'm somewhere where I don't actually know if it works or not.

Frisbee_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 19:21

Dammit, the next time I have to use the bog at someone else's house now, THIS is what I cam going to think about. Courtesy flush FTW

Seegtease 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 19:26

Oh come on. This is a load of bull. If it stunk so bad, why would the entire family stand around the bathroom (which probably isn't big enough to facility a whole FAMILY), and watch the plumber work? Do they think he's going to sabotage the toilet? Maybe they enjoy the smell of shit. Really, why didn't they just shut the door and let the plumber work? There's absolutely no reason to make a scene and gather around. And plug their noses and look at you. What, are her parents 12, and she's 2? That's so immature. It's so immature and unrealistic I'm going to have to say: Fake.

I_am_stupid_also 6

Thursday 7 May 2009 19:33

Today, my tampon fell into the toilet and I flushed it. Later my boyfriend took a huge dump and it was all too much for the poor toilet. Now he is too embarrassed to visit me again. FML.

Headcase 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 19:48

Really s**t situation you have there... Sometimes an extra load of water doesn't work. I spent a month or two with a family in Brazil, where they had this toilet with a 3 inch flushing space. I spent untold hours in that bathroom on several occasions trying to get my damn stools to disappear, often resorting to really repulsive methods. Even worse, whenever it clogged I tried my hand at using a Brazilian plunger - I don't know what the hell the designers were thinking because it didn't have a proper suction thingy at the end. Anyway, now that I'm gone they've probably dismissed me as a dirty coprophiliac (FML). For all those who saw that defecating is natural and shouldn't be something to be ashamed of, I understand completely. The reason it's embarrassing is that because it's my s**t, I see it as my problem. Sure, everybody's s**t stinks, but that doesn't mean we should enjoy the stench of decomposed food. It's just a common courtesy to clean up after yourself when you're at another person's home.

retsnomeitak 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 20:19

NEVER NEVER NEVER SIT DOWN ON A TOILET UNLESS YOU'VE FLUSHED IT FIRST! EVER. EVER. EVER!

bdirrrtyy 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 20:47

I think it's stupid when people act like they don't poop. Everyone does it and its not something you can exactly schedule. It was probably someones awful cooking that made you sick anyway!