Sex, Clothes, Awkward and Intimacy: Cursed underwear

Cursed underwear

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 332

You deserved it 20 423

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Same thing different taste

The price of sin

By Anonymous - 30/05/2016 16:35 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 804

You deserved it 3 869

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 311

You deserved it 21 672

Fruit and veg

By dan - 25/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 358

You deserved it 15 383

By coppervains - 22/02/2014 18:13 - United States - Livonia

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 752

You deserved it 8 196

QC issue

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 967

You deserved it 8 441

By Moth_Balled - 15/12/2015 04:50 - Australia

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 527

You deserved it 6 420

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 5 359

W.T.F.

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 115

You deserved it 613

By Colton - 20/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 977

You deserved it 50 584

Sebastian_NG 17

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:14

I have to stop reading fmls while eating

sirhobothesecond 3

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:28

clcbjj31- it means you're on your period.

Comments

Dcm210 19

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:30

you should started with a shower,back massage and then ****** her real good.

ZXDriver 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:40

"I didn't know caterpillars had such a small stinger"

cmars3 7

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:45

Wash them before you wear them. You don't know whose nasty asses have been in them.

toricakes 7

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:47

Always dress to impress!!!

FriscoKidz 10

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:57

And don't forget to always dress for success too.

daboss85 4

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:30

I can't find you haha add me Chris sloop :D

daboss85 4

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:35

I can't find you????

kaykay20 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 22:05

That's why your suppose to wash the underwear before wearing them. If you did and it still did that then fyl and invest in better underwear.

shushiblec 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 22:27

When will it blossom into a butterfly?

arkid24 1

Wednesday 23 November 2011 22:39

It didnt bug her too much did it? I thought she was already in the process of finding the fuzzy worm as it was

utterdebauchery 7

Wednesday 23 November 2011 22:53

never though of washing the underwear before wearing them?

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 23 November 2011 22:55

o_O

NullPointer 20

Wednesday 23 November 2011 22:56

Any girl who would change her mind about ******* a guy over some fuzz is a **** if you ask me. If that is what matters to you in deciding whether to **** someone you're doing it wrong.