Sex, Clothes, Awkward and Intimacy: Cursed underwear

Cursed underwear

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 332

You deserved it 20 423

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Same thing different taste

The price of sin

By Anonymous - 30/05/2016 16:35 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 804

You deserved it 3 869

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 311

You deserved it 21 672

Fruit and veg

By dan - 25/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 358

You deserved it 15 383

By coppervains - 22/02/2014 18:13 - United States - Livonia

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 752

You deserved it 8 196

QC issue

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 967

You deserved it 8 441

By Moth_Balled - 15/12/2015 04:50 - Australia

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 527

You deserved it 6 420

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 5 359

W.T.F.

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 115

You deserved it 613

By Colton - 20/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 977

You deserved it 50 584

Sebastian_NG 17

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:14

I have to stop reading fmls while eating

sirhobothesecond 3

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:28

clcbjj31- it means you're on your period.

Comments

tylersign 11

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:19

What the hell do you have against caterpillars?

MyPetNinja 14

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:22

Your picture makes this comment perfect...

BIGmoney107 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:20

She wasn't a bug lady, huh?

clmsntgrs 2

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:22

hahaha ah. nice picture douche. is that the same one on your MySpace?

flockz 19

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:22

that's why i never clean my 10 year old underwear.

scruffy_janitor5 1

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:24

If you're lucky it'll turn into a butterfly

me_gusta_eso 1

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:25

Caterpillars are sexy (;

tylersign 11

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:31

Thanks

smirnoff1695 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:25

Imagining this...hahahahahahhaha

pittpsu75 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:26

Note to self: Go commando next time.

mymonolife 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:28

That's gangsta

drooby 5

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:28

1st u always should wear new underwear......u should also wash them once before puttin them on the avoid situations like this one

pie29302930 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:35

Next time, go commando.

pie29302930 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:38

I should have tea the comment 2 or 3 ahead of mine who beat me to this. Damn.

Keywords

Neighbours Miscellaneous Awkward Lonely Wanker Halloween Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Cats Animals Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple of stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 686

You deserved it 823

Today, I found all of my underwear frozen in my freezer. I put my underwear in the washer before I left for work. I then put them in the dryer. I woke up and tried to put them on several times thinking I was missing the pant holes. I finally turned on the lights to see that each leg hole was sewn shut, all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 775

You deserved it 4 654

Today, I had my last assessment for my university degree in the form of an interview at 11am. Without doing this interview, I can't graduate. The interviewer was a no show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 418

You deserved it 212

Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 577

You deserved it 57 170

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 269

You deserved it 719

Today, my parents made several changes to my office space without my knowledge. Among these changes, they put a suitcase under the desk. I don't know how they fit it down there, but I do know I have no room to move my legs. I also know that if I put my feet ON the suitcase, I fall backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 141

Today, I was promoted. After going to school for 10 months to get certified for the new position, training extensively, and taking on a ton more responsibility, I was hoping for a decent raise. How much do my bosses think all of that time and effort is worth? One dollar more per hour than I made before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 266

You deserved it 1 133

Cursed underwear

Same thing different taste

The price of sin

Fruit and veg

QC issue

W.T.F.

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