Sex, Clothes, Awkward and Intimacy: Cursed underwear

Cursed underwear

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 332

You deserved it 20 423

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Same thing different taste

The price of sin

By Anonymous - 30/05/2016 16:35 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 804

You deserved it 3 869

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 311

You deserved it 21 672

Fruit and veg

By dan - 25/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 358

You deserved it 15 383

By coppervains - 22/02/2014 18:13 - United States - Livonia

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 752

You deserved it 8 196

QC issue

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 967

You deserved it 8 441

By Moth_Balled - 15/12/2015 04:50 - Australia

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 527

You deserved it 6 420

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 5 359

W.T.F.

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 115

You deserved it 613

By Colton - 20/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 977

You deserved it 50 584

Sebastian_NG 17

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:14

I have to stop reading fmls while eating

sirhobothesecond 3

Wednesday 23 November 2011 19:28

clcbjj31- it means you're on your period.

Comments

firefly_102 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:03

Dude! I hope you learned from this experience... Never buy cheap underwear! A Hairy caterpillar knob is NOT a turn on!

blushy 14

Wednesday 14 December 2011 16:32

that is sick..next time pay up

Cosmic_Horror 1

Tuesday 24 January 2012 11:18

Dim lighting is better for everyone.

mrjason300 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 23:02

Should've showered first!

babe7260 30

Tuesday 3 April 2012 10:03

ALWAYS wash your new clothes before wearing them! Problem solved!!!!!

maarkblack 9

Saturday 24 November 2012 0:31

That's so damn funny. Luckily I had a girlfriend when it happened to me!

sugarbear0727 19

Friday 8 November 2013 4:39

I laughed so hard at this.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Love Party Jealousy Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute Work AITA

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I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 121

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I agree, your life sucks 4 488

You deserved it 455

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I agree, your life sucks 19 144

You deserved it 7 973

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I agree, your life sucks 29 790

You deserved it 1 984