Transportation, Cars and Money: Dad jokes

Dad jokes

By Dinger1992 - 23/10/2012 13:19 - United States

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 126

You deserved it 41 990

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Same thing different taste

By annoyed - 10/02/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 711

You deserved it 18 358

Vibe check

By buttfingers - 26/12/2015 17:37 - United States - Houston

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat, "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 151

You deserved it 2 242

Old school prank

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 920

You deserved it 111 670

By newdriver - 11/05/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 512

You deserved it 5 633

By imnotcool - 16/04/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 565

You deserved it 68 112

By savanna(: - 12/02/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 110

You deserved it 17 848

By lance - 10/04/2010 05:00 - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by a cop and was fined $210 for making an illegal u-turn. When the cop finished writing my ticket and hopped in his car, he made the same u-turn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 7 461

By Anonymous - 13/08/2010 14:16 - United States

Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 861

You deserved it 52 128

By Chey - 22/03/2012 22:13 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 235

You deserved it 3 357

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 695

You deserved it 25 520

KalCountry76 12

Tuesday 23 October 2012 19:02

You should read the Driver's ED manual again.

SortOfSexy 4

Tuesday 23 October 2012 19:01

Great dad of yours.

Comments

jalapeno47 5

Thursday 25 October 2012 17:37

That is pretty stupid

katie887 2

Thursday 25 October 2012 19:44

Why u didn't read the DMV handbook? Or take te written test before starting to drive?

AtomicRebirth 11

Friday 26 October 2012 1:38

I agree with your dad, if you're really dumb enough to fall for that, you deserve to get a ticket.

iHeartMuzik 0

Friday 26 October 2012 19:16

Try Reading "Driving For Dummies"

hells_bells86 9

Friday 26 October 2012 23:20

You should pay for that ticket, if you're old enough to learn to drive you're old enough to know that he was lying to you.

baileymarie102 6

Saturday 27 October 2012 2:36

My 8 year old sister knows better than that. For the safety of humanity, stay off the road.

dmaster400 3

Saturday 27 October 2012 19:07

I'd be stupid enough to fall for it too.

AJE98 5

Sunday 28 October 2012 4:25

Unless your retarted then your at fault any idoit nows how to drive

Quimpo 14

Thursday 1 November 2012 9:09

you need a new dad lol

at0micmin3r 23

Saturday 3 November 2012 11:50

You do not deserve to drive. :3

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

The Top

Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 879

You deserved it 2 595

Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 558

You deserved it 2 084

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 149

You deserved it 2 702

Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 472

You deserved it 1 918

Today, I was working as a waitress at a wedding. I was trying to clear the tables as quickly as possible and decided to place a half bowl of soup on top of the pile of plates I was carrying. As I was hurrying back to the kitchen I tripped and spilt the soup all over the bride's ivory dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 915

You deserved it 27 232

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 777

You deserved it 5 589

Dad jokes

Same thing different taste

Vibe check

Old school prank

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