Intimacy: Damper - FML

Damper

By bleh - 23/11/2009 22:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 485

You deserved it 6 829

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 21:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Spicy

Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 950

You deserved it 498

Out of order

By HornyWife - 13/06/2020 02:02

Spicy

Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 454

You deserved it 361

By Justme - 20/02/2011 12:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 445

You deserved it 7 431

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 807

You deserved it 6 736

By moerae - 03/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 917

You deserved it 636

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 882

By Anonymous - 15/02/2013 23:22 - Venezuela - Barquisimeto

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 5 138

By Anonymous - 10/12/2013 21:06 - United States - Buffalo

Spicy

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 11 024

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 994

You deserved it 62 530

By Anonymous - 08/01/2013 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 007

You deserved it 8 751

Next

Top comments

DirtyDiana_fml 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:21

lmao damn bitch dont bite.

xMrAndyTranx 4

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:18

YDI. You scraped his man meat with your teeth. SMFH

Comments

elizacandle 29

Saturday 27 April 2013 9:55

what the heck were you doing?

haled9 3

Sunday 28 April 2013 0:50

Ahhhhhhh uh ouch

a4s 8

Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:42

Shark teeth

cwl727 32

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:48

How on earth did you two manage to rip his foreskin

palosqueak 19

Wednesday 25 June 2014 12:32

how the **** does THAT happen?

gimmethatbetty 7

Sunday 3 August 2014 5:25

Ouch you beast, you

Nyx7 24

Friday 19 September 2014 23:23

Oh god, **** his life.that had to be horrible

TechnoStew 21

Thursday 9 October 2014 23:22

Better put it off then.

____gerard____ 11

Tuesday 16 December 2014 9:01

What the hell even happened there...? That's pretty nasty ?

KagamineRinny 14

Tuesday 1 September 2015 6:53

solution: do it in the butt

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Keywords

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The Top

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The Top

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You deserved it 4 142

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You deserved it 3 758

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I agree, your life sucks 28 419

You deserved it 12 105

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of a cute guy sitting across from me on a train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just smirked at me, clearly aware of what had just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 665