Intimacy: Damper

Damper

By bleh - 23/11/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 486

You deserved it 6 829

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 21:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 950

You deserved it 498

Out of order

By HornyWife - 13/06/2020 02:02

Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 454

You deserved it 361

By Justme - 20/02/2011 12:23 - United States

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 445

You deserved it 7 432

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 807

You deserved it 6 736

By moerae - 03/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 917

You deserved it 636

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 882

By Anonymous - 15/02/2013 23:22 - Venezuela - Barquisimeto

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 5 138

By Anonymous - 10/12/2013 21:06 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 11 024

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 994

You deserved it 62 530

By Anonymous - 08/01/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 009

You deserved it 8 751

DirtyDiana_fml 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:21

lmao damn bitch dont bite.

xMrAndyTranx 4

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:18

YDI. You scraped his man meat with your teeth. SMFH

Comments

katiek69 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:59

ydi for marrying an uncircumcised man.

MarineWife131 0

Monday 15 August 2011 21:25

Sounds more like a FHisLife to me. That had to hurt!!

kennedyboopants 1

Wednesday 24 August 2011 2:08

Bite.

Goodlife918975 6

Sunday 16 October 2011 4:40

Foreskin why is it still there?

PaulAlcohol 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 4:25

All you tards bringing God into this shoukd be shot. No where in the bible does it say, "And Jesus said kick em while they're down and say told ya so!!!" Now to the post... YDI for using your teeth. Would you want teeth in your lower region? also, I agree that uncircumsized = gross looking.

PaulAlcohol 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 4:30

#132 You are dumb. It is gross looking, but it is not dirty. Read a book. And Parents decide when you're born. It costs 2 to 500 bucks and insurance doesnt cover it... with our failing economy there will be more seacucombers out there.

piwikiwi93 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 7:25

Wait. It will be worth it!

BullletProof 5

Friday 27 January 2012 19:16

To all you people saying uncircumsized is gross, STFU. My bf is uncircumsized and I couldnt care less. Long as they keep it clean, theres no difference. How do people not see whats wrong with cutting off some of your childs penis? Thats fricken crule! Op, FHS, and I can't imagen what you were doing that made it rip o.O holy ****, you guys play rough

Loopulk 9

Sunday 29 January 2012 3:29

Then surgery's cruel too! You're ripping open someone's chest and picking at their organs.

BullletProof 5

Saturday 4 February 2012 3:00

No, because with surgery, you don't actully feel it, or they give you lots of pain killers, you not doing it to BABY for gods sake and it actully helps the person to survive and be healthy. Curcumsision surves NO perpose whats so ever. Takes 5 seconds longer to clean with the foreskin - so??? That doesnt make it unhealthy or unsanitary.

maty172 14

Wednesday 5 February 2014 6:37

circumcision is very useful to prevent diseases. The rate of transmission of STI's are greater with the foreskin. If you don't have sex with gross people, then its no worry, but if you do....