Sex, Weird, Relatable and Intimacy: Desperate Dan

Desperate Dan

By BKCK4187 - 20/12/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 188

You deserved it 6 907

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Same thing different taste

Fragrant

By nooneinparticular - 21/05/2020 08:00

Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 187

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 565

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 927

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 422

You deserved it 11 385

By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 978

You deserved it 3 559

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 1 915

By urinetrouble - 04/05/2017 06:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 443

You deserved it 1 592

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 60 985

I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 175

Mixed feelings

By thefriedman - 12/02/2013 04:59 - United States - Perris

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 602

You deserved it 8 701

ceilingfans 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:22

I found this hard to ********** to

abbytequiere 9

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:23

Oh, you're so dirty...

Comments

MisterEx 28

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:38

Be thankful while you can still get it up, bagman.

wikkedphuka 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 12:06

get it up? is that how u talk to all women? op is a girl

finished 10

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:41

Well then...

SamCat 21

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:41

I dont blame you, they smell really good. Just dont rub it upon you, people frown on stuff like that.

hnz 13

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:45

Gotta love vanilla!

upyourzlolz 11

Tuesday 20 December 2011 15:34

I'd be worst if OP was homosexual. Then we would get joke such as: "Hey, why don't you come and here and spray your vanilla on me?"

Torva_fml 16

Tuesday 20 December 2011 16:16

Not really....? ^

SauceySarah 30

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:46

I have some! They smell really good, so I totally understand.

MyLoveDrunk 11

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:47

Future cereal killer I presume?

MikeDa1Da 14

Tuesday 20 December 2011 16:24

If I was a cereal killer, id definitely take out cap'n crunch first.

rocker135 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:50

Well nothing says arousal like unused hefty bags with vanilla scent

upyourzlolz 11

Tuesday 20 December 2011 16:01

I guess OPs dick became... HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY

bubblepaarty 5

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:59

vanilla is pretty arousing. (;

badass243 6

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:08

thats low dude

meanmachine888 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:10

Sounds easy to get you into bed.

Darklord53 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 10:48

If Op is a guy then it's already easy.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 146

You deserved it 228

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 765

The Top

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 651

You deserved it 2 752

Today, it's the last day of my three-week vacation, during which I couldn't go anywhere due to COVID and lockdown. I just learned that some of my colleagues are infected and I will have to fill in for two department superintendents at the same time when I go back to work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 97

Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 611

You deserved it 1 793

Today, I got my precalculus final back from my teacher. I got a 17%. I told her that there had to be some mistake, because my classmate had the same answers as me and she got 100%. Not only did I accidentally admit to cheating, but our test papers had different questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 2 707

Today, my girlfriend, who I’ve been madly in love with for 18 months, left me for some guy she met two weeks ago. I was planning to propose to her next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 138

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 2 446

Same thing different taste

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