Health, ACAB, Dad jokes and Cops: Detained - FML

Detained

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying, "Only these guns!" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. Neither will the cops down at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 067

You deserved it 51 081

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Top comments

trollfaced 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:26

Why would you say that?

elk21dbm 18

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:26

Dumbass

Comments

somewizdom 15

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:57

Lay off the steroids, not good for your mental health.

Damion345 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:08

does this in anyway seem like the FML posted earlier today? the one earlier said something like " i got 99 problems but a bitch aint one." to some hot girl

shrdlu 28

Wednesday 7 December 2011 1:30

Yep, except the OP here was stupider

TheAntidote 5

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:15

Haha that was such a dumb thing to say.

Vlamblam 1

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:18

Cops abuse their authority and hate the public. They live only to oppress people.

markmiller2023 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:20

58- for the sake of humanity, die in a fire, soon.

princessmollysue 9

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:20

Your freaking dumb man !

ty1992_farmlife 12

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:21

Even tho they took you to the station, that's pretty damn funny!! On the plus side you gave them a good laugh, but they still won't let you off easy

mrz1177 11

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:27

Cops will be cops....

mrz1177 11

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:27

Cops will be cops....

mrz1177 11

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:27

Cops will be cops....

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 176

The Top

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 246

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 756

You deserved it 5 694

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 783

You deserved it 6 138

Today, my boyfriend, a math teacher, wanted to recite multiplication timetables while making love in order to come less quickly. He could only recite up to the number 5 because as it turns out, the timetables actually turn him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 182

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 035

You deserved it 1 478

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 198

You deserved it 9 434