Dick joke

By awilson - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see me with my hand on my crotch while angrily muttering, "Where's that little bastard gone?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 66 340
You deserved it 17 019
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Top comments

Rixxieee 0

wheres the 'like' button when you need it? =P

45 2

Comments

ireply_w_lyrics 0

"...My dick bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kids My dick rush like the chargers (the whole team) Your shit look like you fourteen My dick locked in a cage (right) Your dick suffer from stage fright My dick so hot its stolen Your dick look like Gary Coleman..."

12 3
JaneDoe_71 0

Damn... can't resist anymore! I love this! I'm always awaiting for you to find the one!!!!! Thank you

2 0
ireply_w_lyrics 0

MMK! DONT YELL AT ME! IM AN EMOTIONAL PERSON AND YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY!!!!!!!

0 0
ireply_w_lyrics 0

And thank ya! first time ive been complimented by a moderator

0 0
JaneDoe_71 0

so you're an emo? awwwwwwwww I'll be quiet then!

0 0
ireply_w_lyrics 0

An no, im not an emo :P Cantcha tell by the country music i post?

0 0
musiclife_fml 0

I NOMinate you as the best. commenter. ever.

0 0
plexico 3

I wouldn't "eat M&M's on a chair" because a lot of people's asses have been there. The brown ones don't leave the factory fart-flavored, it just gets picked up from the upholstery. And about the one you dropped: you probably were probing for it just a little too long ;)

1 0
Person1233 12

Because eating M&M's on the bed is a bit more suitable? You have no clue who had sex/jacked off there xP

1 0
plexico 3

I think the OP would eat M&M's out of a toilet. He loses one and he starts to yell at it? Maybe if you drop a whole Twix bar out of the two-pack and can't find it, you can yell at it, but an M&M is so small, you just have to "let it go."

0 0
iice_ee 0

that is hillarious! What happened? She say anything.. U shudve got up and showed the m& m to her..

1 0
hqwoody327 0

Not many FML's make me LOL... this one certainly did! That's GOLD!

1 1
xxbrokenworld1xx 0

wat a ******* fail! XD lol.

0 0
plexico 3

I hope she didn't think you were talking about your little brother.

0 0
longboat 0

Epic M&M fail, but it would be even funnier if you actually had a small dick.

0 3