Intimacy: Different strokes

Different strokes

By chickenmcnuggetgirl - 18/03/2013 18:10 - Ireland - Enfield

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 483

You deserved it 5 134

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Same thing different taste

Finger lickin'

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brecksville

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 595

You deserved it 43 876

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 372

You deserved it 6 168

Not the nuggets!

By Anon - 27/06/2018 20:30

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing for 5 months over. We got some chicken nuggets, but didn’t eat because he stripped my clothes off and we started having sex. Out of nowhere, he said, "I can’t do this!" and left. He took the chicken nuggets with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 912

You deserved it 499

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 502

You deserved it 10 595

By bertiebeth - 02/08/2014 05:35 - Australia - Padstow

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 773

You deserved it 4 031

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 654

You deserved it 6 224

Downhill from here

By forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 745

You deserved it 9 859

American cuisine

By Nill - 31/07/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 115

By Jess49 - 03/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 417

You deserved it 4 839

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 094

You deserved it 5 791

BeccaHugs 17

Monday 18 March 2013 22:56

Ba-Da-bababa, He's lovin it.

Leftspoke 6

Monday 18 March 2013 22:54

The things we do for love lol

Comments

TalkinSmack 6

Tuesday 19 March 2013 6:00

If it tastes like chicken , keep on lickin

cmb8280 24

Tuesday 19 March 2013 6:08

Oh dear god, I'm gagging just thinking about it. The only thing worse that comes to mind is a bath in nacho cheese... Ugh, still gagging...

notforbirds 9

Tuesday 19 March 2013 6:10

I don't have a vote on this one, it's just so overwhelmingly awesome and creepy.

Llamacod 11

Tuesday 19 March 2013 6:39

A bath in chicken nuggets huh? That, my friend, would be an expensive endeavor.

Wizzlbang 10

Tuesday 19 March 2013 6:48

Jesus, you're making it sound like he gave her a black eye.

Vegnas 13

Tuesday 19 March 2013 7:04

Who else is thinking Jake and Amir?

roflstomp716 19

Tuesday 19 March 2013 7:11

guess he ordered the mcfetish

KareBear7364 5

Tuesday 19 March 2013 8:57

I'd do it as long as there was ranch!

Lacist 19

Tuesday 19 March 2013 9:02

Amir is that you?

SinfulEnd 20

Tuesday 19 March 2013 20:12

OMG Yes! finally! someone knows of CollegeHumor! Im not alone!!!

Magikarps 4

Tuesday 19 March 2013 12:23

Maybe he wants you to find his golden nuggets at the end in the pot o' nuggets.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 169

You deserved it 9 445

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 3 275

The Top

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating on him, all because I shaved my legs on a Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 144

You deserved it 1 280

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 40 171

Today, I learned that while I respectfully distanced myself from my female friends in the last two years of dating my girlfriend, as per her request, she has been making loads of new male friends on her "backup Snapchat." This includes guys from her work, or guys her girlfriends bring around her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 310

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 181

You deserved it 42 722

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 441

You deserved it 10 118

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649