Intimacy: Dirty talk - FML

Dirty talk

By Noname - 02/01/2009 03:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 523

You deserved it 38 574

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Same thing different taste

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 11 385

By socreepedouticanteven - 27/10/2014 00:05 - United States - Procious

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 508

You deserved it 6 168

By thatstinks - 07/04/2011 03:12 - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 508

You deserved it 2 970

Multiusage

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 05:00 - Poland - Poznan

Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 186

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 7 209

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 60 986

Smell good

By Anonymous - 02/12/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 197

Contagion

By Girlygal32 - 13/09/2020 08:02 - United States

Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 525

By anonymous - 09/06/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 330

You deserved it 4 144

Febreze

By stinky - 21/05/2023 03:00

Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 130

Next

Top comments

ashling_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:00

Isn't this more of an "f HER life" situation?

FBIWarning 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 23:56

lmao why did your mom smell it?

Comments

FBIWarning 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 23:56

lmao why did your mom smell it?

elviejomao 0

Monday 22 March 2010 18:10

THAT is the question! lawl

kirbs19 37

Tuesday 20 January 2015 8:26

Her first instinct was to sniff it...

brettperry14 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 5:35

whose **** rag smells thats disguesting

elliekinslurvsya 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 0:34

why the **** was your mom cleaning your room? how old are you? nvm, scratch that, it doesnt matter. all my friends' parents clean their rooms. my parents have never in my life cleaned my room. but then, i don't have the best parents...

uberledge 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 8:25

do what i do. leave your **** in your girlfriend. the chances of your mum finding it are very low lol

sweethart111 0

Friday 24 December 2010 7:12

lol, thats awesome

ilennax2 0

Monday 4 April 2011 11:38

be carefully though, she might find out nine months later :P

rummzy 6

Monday 21 January 2013 9:43

Ticking time bomb

Alexgoesfml 3

Wednesday 10 June 2009 0:29

I just let mine run wild, mum never notices.

averageirishman 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 0:49

win

lifesneutral2002 6

Tuesday 10 June 2014 1:50

that's disgusting

uberledge 0

Monday 15 June 2009 11:00

one time i wiped it on my friends mums curtains haha he got the blame :p now thats classic

sum1savemeh 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 4:28

ahhaa win(:

skreech96 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 7:59

same

Mjwnenrjs 17

Monday 25 April 2011 8:49

why were you wanking at your friends house ?! lol

FD929 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 22:31

you're nasty. clean up after yourself you bum.

Compass 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 18:43

uberledge is obviously a virgin. Why would you leave it in your girlfriend? It's called a condom (or pulling out). Do you want her to get pregnant if she's not taking birth control or catch/pass on something?

Wuzzgoof 0

Wednesday 21 April 2010 14:35

Hey there hi there, welcome to 2010. We have STD-checks and birth control.

lil_miss_purfect 0

Saturday 9 October 2010 16:20

oral man O-R-A-L

demoon_fml 7

Wednesday 28 April 2010 5:39

You are #2 and you are a fail,

bLuRtiToUt 0

Saturday 22 May 2010 20:04

lollllllll

mathhater 0

Monday 31 May 2010 22:16

dude... uve basically facialed your mum. how do you feel?

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I picked my son up from school, and asked how his day went. He told me how his friend explained to him that his mommy snorts sugar with his uncle, and if he could try what his friend's mom calls "Booger sugar" when we got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 91

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I agree, your life sucks 33 162

You deserved it 2 376

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I agree, your life sucks 34 080

You deserved it 2 725

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I agree, your life sucks 18 330

You deserved it 35 378

Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 2 254

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 861

You deserved it 9 078