Intimacy: Dirty talk - FML

Dirty talk

By Noname - 02/01/2009 03:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 523

You deserved it 38 574

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Same thing different taste

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 11 385

By socreepedouticanteven - 27/10/2014 00:05 - United States - Procious

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 508

You deserved it 6 168

By thatstinks - 07/04/2011 03:12 - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 508

You deserved it 2 970

Multiusage

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 05:00 - Poland - Poznan

Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 186

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 7 209

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 60 986

Smell good

By Anonymous - 02/12/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 197

Contagion

By Girlygal32 - 13/09/2020 08:02 - United States

Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 525

By anonymous - 09/06/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 330

You deserved it 4 144

Febreze

By stinky - 21/05/2023 03:00

Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 130

Next

Top comments

ashling_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:00

Isn't this more of an "f HER life" situation?

FBIWarning 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 23:56

lmao why did your mom smell it?

Comments

CorinnaHEY 6

Monday 28 June 2010 20:27

EWWWWW under your bed??? your dog probably licks it

katsteak 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:33

how do you know he has a dog?

SpaceKing 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 7:14

haha lmfao you did fail xD

youngcat24 0

Monday 16 August 2010 23:16

Wow that's nasty lol.

Sweetie2u 1

Tuesday 21 September 2010 10:46

that's pretty sick, that's an infection waiting to happen.

skreech96 0

Thursday 30 September 2010 16:51

haha smooth #2 :))))

cdatribe23 0

Sunday 7 November 2010 5:59

hahaha WOW.

simon_lala 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 4:41

don't be so mean guys he's obviously too busy dating Rosie palms to clean up after himself.

freerun4life97 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 23:09

I thought it was Palmela Handerson?

smalltownboy54 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 0:29

Nooooo Hangelina Jolie

LovinLadyJ 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 9:16

Why is your mom cleaning your room? I would assume if your big enough to have that special towel under your bed you should be big enough to clean your room ...

blueeyes3 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 5:16

why don't you just use the vacuum instead of the towel. you'd probably like that better anyway. and when you're done you can clean your room instead of your mom.

curlyfry33 8

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:03

Until she empties the vacuumed

lifesneutral2002 6

Tuesday 10 June 2014 1:53

until the vacuumes clogged and she empties it and sees... then you're in trouble.

butterflyz1961 2

Sunday 24 April 2011 14:56

I would have thrown it at you. You nasty assed bastard.

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Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable Work You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 22 993

You deserved it 3 063

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I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 1 158

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I agree, your life sucks 69 887

You deserved it 2 745

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 217

Today, my aunt and uncle came into the restaurant I work at to give me a late Christmas gift. The gift was the $20 tip they left, which got divided amongst all the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 091

You deserved it 2 304

Today, I thought working through the holidays would mean little to do and the boss telling me stories all day. Actually, it meant having loads to do, while my boss was telling me stories regardless, effectively keeping me from doing the work he is paying me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 217