Dog Jump Fail By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 15:10 - United States - New York Practice doesn't always make perfect! I agree, your life sucks 433 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 205 You deserved it 4 166
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 159 You deserved it 10 365
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 407 You deserved it 4 720
Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 007 You deserved it 3 564
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML I agree, your life sucks 39 343 You deserved it 14 541
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 146 You deserved it 130
Today, I took an embarrassing picture of myself in my work uniform, acting goofy and such, to send to my friends but I accidentally sent it to my manager. It was a very jeopardizing pose. I’m supposed to start tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 232 You deserved it 1 373
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 146 You deserved it 92