Dogs are people too

By Seriously? - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he's named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 276
You deserved it 6 602
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Top comments

myusername83 10

Does he kiss the dog like she's you, too?

82 2
junkman6 22

I once named a Pokemon after an ex girlfriend... Of course it was magikarp denoting how much of a "dead fish" she was in bed.

67 7

Comments

challan 19

maybe he just thinks you're a bitch.

24 1
JMichael 25

At least when he gives the dog commands it'll obey.

49 6
perdix 29

#1, I guess to be a first, the your/you're/yore distinction has to slide. I know you know better :D

14 48
perdix 29

#29, thanks, Didi! challan nailed me a couple days ago about my grammar slip-ups, so I just wanted to tease her playfully in return ;)

28 11
challan 19

Perdix, my friend, if my phone has messed with me, I apologize. I don't believe I have ever picked on you at all!!!

12 3
ahippienamedrae 10

Aw man I was going to make that joke. ):

0 8
Kamon97 23

Haha #1 has a great point maybe I should get a dog and name her after my cheating ex :p

6 0
perdix 29

#51, it was the one where the boyfriend dumped the OP with the mother giving him tips. I screwed up at least twice in my comment, and you pointed that out. Don't worry, I know with you it is all in good fun (as is my "picking" on you) ;)

7 6
challan 19

you even remember which one?! I'm going to need to write a stalking fml about you...

17 0
happyevil 10

Naming the dog after you, that's weird, but talking to the dog like it is an actual person isn't that bad... I do it all the time. The good part is he can't tell me to shut up. :)

1 0
ZY1431 24

well thats a bit much.

5 9
perdix 29

Or he talked to you like you were a dog?

56 10
perdix 29

Come to think of it, I talk very sweetly to my dog. If I talked to women that way, I'd probably get licked and humped a lot more :)

37 3
murdersquirrel 15

my first thought was "but I talk to my cat like she's a real person, why is that weird?"

9 2
killthedead 13

What's wrong with stalking someone?

8 10
Jasmeent11 15

I think it sounds so creepy already, wouldn't be surprised if he did.

2 2
thatnucca 36

Since the romantic aspect failed, the poor lad's trying to get a best friend out of the situation...

1 3
TwiztedYuri 9

********** jokes... haha

1 3
thatnucca 36

Aren't dogs supposed to be man's best friend? Dirty minded people... Lol

2 0
junkman6 22

I once named a Pokemon after an ex girlfriend... Of course it was magikarp denoting how much of a "dead fish" she was in bed.

67 7
MidnaLink 33

Kinda fails when the stupid things evolve though!

8 1
gracehi 31

So she seemed nice and harmless at first, and then she transformed into a terrifying monster?

22 2
Radayam 19

I named my Ditto after my girlfriend after I found out that she had been sleeping with everyone. :(

10 0
chosha_fml 26

#11 Maybe you just didn't know how to bring her to life?

1 1
Puffgurl 6

44 That sounds like me xD

0 0
Derp_Jerpinson 2

Well tbh #10 even if shes a dead magikarp in bed, ALL women know the splash attack....the trick is getting them to use it in battle lol

0 0
mangobbler 11

I don't want to jinx it, but unless he does it already, stalking will get on that list of odd behaviour. Be prepared OP.

0 11