Health and Relatable: Don't believe the hype - FML

Don't believe the hype

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 469

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Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

By NevertheKool - 07/05/2015 21:43 - United States - Union City

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza, and ended up falling asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 763

You deserved it 28 049

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to sound like I had my life together by bragging to a friend about how I meal prep every week. In reality, I’m sitting here eating a cold slice of pizza for lunch that I found in the back of my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 542

Distractions

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 07:30

Today, I was looking online at the gym memberships in my neighborhood, because I'm getting old and unfit. As I was looking at the prices, thanks to some well-placed advertisement magic, I found myself ordering a pizza, then binge-watching Netflix. It seems that motivation is just a click away, but pizza is my kryptonite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 586

Coach Class

By GetFuzzy - 18/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 2 062

By Anonymous - 11/03/2019 22:00

Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 601

You deserved it 248

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 276

By Anonymous - 03/08/2015 03:25 - United States - Waterford

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 2 241

By sunshine19217 - 18/01/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 8 707

Procrastinating my life away

By Beatrix - 11/11/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 372

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 159

Next

Top comments

smoochmysnoot 5

Thursday 14 November 2024 2:48

Tomorrow is another day, babe. Try again tomorrow. No shame.

Wadlaen 23

Friday 15 November 2024 0:15

I think you ought to look for some self-discipline...

Comments

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 14 November 2024 0:27

Consistency is key.

smoochmysnoot 5

Thursday 14 November 2024 2:48

Tomorrow is another day, babe. Try again tomorrow. No shame.

Wadlaen 23

Friday 15 November 2024 0:15

I think you ought to look for some self-discipline...

Keywords

Animals Cats Embarrassing Christmas Health Work Awkward Love Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Gun control Kids Parents Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Food Delivery Family

The Top

Today, my son is apparently old enough for his dad to teach him the “Don’t tell mommy” game, such as, "Don’t tell mommy you had extra dessert", or "Don’t tell mommy it was daddy who accidentally broke the window with daddy’s secret new air rifle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 181

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 097

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I watched the love of my life look me straight in the eye and lie to me with well-practised ease about where she spent last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 514

Today, my redneck mother, who I parted ways from years ago, found out I became wealthy in my 30s so she turned up at my house, thinking she could just move in. Then she tried to demand the money I owed for giving birth to me, and camped on my lawn until I called the cops, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 101

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 058

You deserved it 10 735

Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 256

You deserved it 10 011

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 171

You deserved it 3 190

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 849

You deserved it 4 444