Miscellaneous: Don't come around here no more - FML

Don't come around here no more

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 03:06 - United States

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 064

You deserved it 4 314

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 645

You deserved it 5 909

By teea - 15/11/2012 23:34 - Australia - Saint Lucia

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 579

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 180

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 125

By shadow - 26/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 941

You deserved it 357

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 663

Trust

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 23:43 - United Kingdom - Broseley

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 1 558

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 3 113

By mysterygurll1234567 - 20/01/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 771

You deserved it 3 710

By kenz - 06/12/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 419

You deserved it 2 556

Next

Top comments

metalmusic 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:28

Hate to bring this up, but... is your name Bella?

zuuzuu_fml 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:15

how does that work??

Comments

metalmusic 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:28

Hate to bring this up, but... is your name Bella?

nutcrackers 2

Friday 19 February 2010 15:23

lol

iamghostbad 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:31

@metalmusic. -_- I hate you.

VeryNice329 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:33

are you insanely klutzy?

Goople 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:37

I think its because OP is a Gecko...

69Kitty 4

Friday 19 February 2010 19:41

That gecko saved me hundreds of dollars on insurance XD

Callyn 47

Friday 19 February 2010 9:41

There is a story behind this. If you aren't willing to share the story, don't put the storyhook out there. I will refrain from voting until you tell the story, but I bet that it's your fault since you are reluctant to tell others what happened.

null_fml 11

Friday 19 February 2010 9:51

^ This, except I voted YDI for that reason.

expen_dable 0

Friday 19 February 2010 10:03

You need a new hobby...

containsnosoy 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:53

Take a hint, you crazy lady. I agree with #25, but like #29 I voted YDI.

iamghostbad 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:56

what does that have to do with it?

Coccinelle_fml 15

Friday 19 February 2010 10:14

Am I stupid? i dont get this FML at all

wthcharles 0

Friday 19 February 2010 10:33

rofl. Did you try to burn his house down or something?

maskedman 9

Friday 19 February 2010 10:33

I wonder if the Winslows could've gotten Steve Urkel banned from their house for being an insurance liability.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 182

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 412

The Top

Today, I've come to accept that while my family claims to be supportive of my disabilities, they become completely ableist whenever they're the source of the problem, or if my problems otherwise have a direct effect on them. I have no real friends in this world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 186

Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 329

You deserved it 8 046

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 992

You deserved it 7 188

Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 924

You deserved it 219

Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 065

You deserved it 2 711

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 717

You deserved it 6 650