Health: Don't touch me

Don't touch me

By squishyboy - 26/05/2009 08:23 - New Zealand

Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, "I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 678

You deserved it 7 846

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By boyishgirl - 27/02/2015 19:14 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 951

You deserved it 3 092

By Tuffgunsmoke - 04/02/2010 07:22 - France

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 755

You deserved it 31 553

By fatty - 07/06/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 722

You deserved it 10 588

Classic Mom moment

By me - 28/06/2013 15:51 - United States

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 625

You deserved it 4 049

By lalala - 18/07/2010 04:02 - Philippines

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 089

You deserved it 9 996

By elizio - 04/08/2015 11:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 661

You deserved it 2 930

Thanks, honey.

By Fluffy - 13/12/2017 19:00

Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 650

You deserved it 919

By sunshine - 29/06/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 893

You deserved it 936

By candy - 11/02/2016 12:24 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 156

You deserved it 3 994

By Kristina - 18/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 005

You deserved it 6 882

xxguitarfreakxx 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 20:20

I LOVE SQUISHY PEOPLE! they are, no joke, the BEST to hug. and i loooove just leaning on them(: they are so motherly. minus the screaming...

24788 6

Tuesday 26 May 2009 20:10

She was trying to be nice, but it didn't work out.

Comments

lovely997 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:13

NUMBER 79, really takes this whole FML thing seriosuly Lurk at his profile, like really/// is this your whole life

Allord 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 4:55

I totally think you could **** her

rakhil11 7

Tuesday 9 June 2009 0:22

hey, it's ok, my bestie's overweight (she also eats about 10 x more than me '-_- but that's cuz i'm used 2 bing anorexic) and i LUV hugging her...and falling asleep in class on her shoulder.....