Cute and Miscellaneous: Doofus

Doofus

By wobbles - 04/12/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 931

You deserved it 34 351

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Same thing different taste

By Kyle - 10/05/2011 10:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 46 996

Like a bat

By Blind - 15/01/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, my glasses have completely disappeared. I know for a fact that I put them on my desk, but now they're absolutely nowhere to be found. This is my first time playing "Find your glasses without the assistance of your glasses" and I'm failing at it badly. My vision isn't even that bad yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 01/07/2015 17:54 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 830

You deserved it 34 277

By Glassless - 26/05/2017 20:00

Today, I lost my glasses. I don't have spares but my girlfriend said I could borrow hers. She doesn't understand why this won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 150

You deserved it 492

Brain fart Andy over here

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 16:01 - Italy

Today, as I was getting dressed after a shower, I spent a good 30 seconds searching for my underwear… which I'd already put on at that point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 321

Comfy

By chrono64 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 809

You deserved it 3 434

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 601

You deserved it 425

Mystery

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 00:00

Today, somewhere between home and work, my glasses vanished off my face. I know I had them on before I set off because I cleaned them in the car and put them on, then halfway to work I suddenly had to squint to see because glasses gone. I’ve been searching for an hour, they are nowhere. HOW? FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 155

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 385

By TurtleTeacher - 14/10/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 909

You deserved it 4 059

gigi2009 0

Friday 4 December 2009 13:20

haha fun gf

ICallKyo 3

Friday 4 December 2009 13:36

if this had happened to someone with any sense of humor, it would have ended up on MLIA. how is that an FML at all?

Comments

izzyyy 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 8:57

Haha win girlfriend!

COBRAMORPH 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 9:27

put your **** in her eye.

arissia 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 15:49

I did this once when I was little on a car trip.. only it was my shoe I couldn't find. I was sleepy.

LolWaitWut 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 12:38

lol what a nice girlfriend! she sounds fun (: this isnt an fml.

kat93 0

Monday 7 December 2009 0:02

lolz xDDDD that is uberly retarded but it has happened to me...xD

jloveee 0

Monday 7 December 2009 9:48

HAHA! your girlfriend is awesome.

ShadowPoseidon 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 13:50

ahaahahaha i like ur girlfriend xDD

BrookDarling 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:54

Lmao. Your girlfriends clever.

Level27chick04 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 7:53

I've actually did that.

Txgurl08 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 2:56

haha i did that to my boyfriend too! CLASSIC...not 4 you though lol sorry just to funny

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 298

You deserved it 1 134

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 205

The Top

Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 985

You deserved it 4 378

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 251

You deserved it 26 158

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on MSN when her roommate answered, "Sorry, this isn't Marie, she's at her boyfriend’s." Really? I've looked everywhere in my apartment, and I can’t find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 478

You deserved it 4 036

Today, my fiancée a year left me, a week after she told me she’s still talking to her ex. Her excuse for not telling me about this? Because, “You’ll make it a big deal out of it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 139

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 10 237

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 420

You deserved it 41 056