Love: Double dump

Double dump

By dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 028

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 951

You deserved it 2 774

By musicyman55 - 19/12/2009 07:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 662

You deserved it 3 052

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 3 866

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 5 210

It's for the best

By yesguysgetabusedtoo - 24/05/2013 23:42 - New Zealand - Papamoa

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 6 950

By kukadaman - 15/03/2010 06:19 - United States

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 620

You deserved it 2 390

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 895

You deserved it 3 067

By dharp7 - 16/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 092

You deserved it 3 764

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 12 326

Gurljuice 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

She doubled her relief

sassypants93 17

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Comments

undeadqueen528 0

Friday 11 March 2011 9:34

yeah pooping and cheating at the sametime would be a clevland steamer!!!

fizzypop14 3

Friday 11 March 2011 13:01

girls don't poop

Cloudmaker 3

Friday 11 March 2011 13:39

HA! multitasking, love it

underpaid011 0

Friday 11 March 2011 14:27

a double dump! a dump while taking a dump! or maybe the dump just reminded her of you, or the relationship. either way, it sucks to get flushed.

JackieTropics 0

Friday 11 March 2011 15:10

Yikes man

keipher09 1

Friday 11 March 2011 17:12

jeez this is not an English class hahaha

khaya 9

Friday 11 March 2011 17:33

She is a true winner dumping you and getting laid at the same time.

04VWR32 6

Friday 11 March 2011 18:09

what?

dougierocks 13

Friday 11 March 2011 18:10

where did you take her for dinner last night?

baseballgirl25 6

Friday 11 March 2011 18:17

ur better off without her. she sounds like a bitch.

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Cute Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 78

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 515

The Top

Today, my mom still freaks out and yells "Where?" when I mention spiders to her in any form, regardless of context, and no matter what I preface it with. She just fixates on the word "spider." I get that arachnophobia is pretty miserable to have, but this is ridiculous. Go see a therapist, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 275

Today, I had a box full of crickets in my room. I sealed it up with tape and went to take a shower. When I returned, I found that the box had popped open, releasing almost all of the crickets. I can still hear the chirping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 051

You deserved it 8 033

Today, I saw my boyfriend coming up the walkway to our home. When I opened the door to greet him with a huge smile on my face, he scowled at me and angrily said, "I don't know why you have to do that!" Smile gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 103

You deserved it 442

Today, my neighbor's dog came to visit and I tried to bring him back home like I usually do. Only this time, when I grabbed the dog's collar, they zapped him! And it zapped me! My teeth still hurt! FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 120

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 672

You deserved it 39 193

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 077

You deserved it 6 535

Double dump

Same thing different taste

It's for the best

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